a Tribute to Mumbai...and the 26/11 victims.

a 20 yr old....he's got a normal wrist-band thing, d kinds any college going, god-fearing kid wears...he has a blue back pack...and a dishevelled guy-next-door hair style....


what strikes you though, is the automatic machine gun in his hands...an ak-47...and blood smeared on his left cheek....and d glint in his eyes.........sends a chill down my spine each time i see the pic circulating on news channels..............................


wat was it? numb. d mind ceases to believe. my friend fears d guy standing next to me...seems like a normal guy...maybe he has a semi-automatic uzi in dat red back pack of his....i mean....u thought looks say a lot bout a person....do they?



may Karkare Sir's soul rest in peace. he was a noble man. was talkin wit a friend....he knew Karkare Sir personally. told me dat maybe now he knows how it must have felt to lose a near one in d blasts...or such acts of terrorism....he was not even related to Karkare Sir...he was his friend's father-in-law....but he knew that SouL...he knew him as a Person...a great Human....and he feels the loss so deeply....i wish all my strength be bestowed upon those whose near ones were lost in this act......cuz you cant even begin to fathom the impact such incidents must have on them....i pray for you to get all the strength....


wat kinda motivation...wat kinda thought process makes these assholes do this? i mean...are you pre-historic? or were you born in sewers? or were ur brains kept in deep freezer, and only one nerve activated - kill...?


if anyone has seen CST in peak hours, they will easily know how bad this incident would have been, had it taken place in peak hours....god forbid.
tiz a sea of people....and even normally, if u stand in d direction opposing the flow of people, u get dizzy if u r not used to it....so many millions.....d mind goes numb.

and when you imagine what musta happened even at that odd hour....cant imagine at all...the terror...the fear....and they were roaming around wielding those guns.....

talking with another friend...she told me there are really people like in the movie Fiza....and then there was the recent Amir. are they really so heartless and influential, that they can make someone perfectly normal, go mad, and do such ghastly deeds?


well, i hope someone jus doesn't go ahead, and bring about "A Wednesday"....cuz dat's in d making as i see it...and not one, but hundreds o wednesdays.....they better find ways to do so in the stronghold of these perpetrators who made these people what they are....and what they are doing.....how they think...how they behave....


some reports said dat some of the terrorists were tryin to negotiate...while others were against it...this itself shows dat de weren't there by will...not that anyone would be interested in any negotiations with them after what they have done...negotiate what? their own lives?


and all of this is happening cuz o India's "sahansheelta"..."samjutdarpana"..and all dat stupid shit.
i say give it out to these assholes. fuckin enter their homes, and kill them. who are these people?
are they even human?


on a more practical note - something needs to really be done....to secure d nation as a whole...have an inventory of all weapons present...control the flow of weapons coming from outside...make it darned difficult to get any kinda weapons...after all, why keep them anywhere but in the army? i m sure an automatic gun is not that easy to come by....or is it? i hope the authorities at least have a decent clue as to this question....

on a closing note....let's not forget this event...let it not get beyond our memories...let's remember this hurt, hatred, and maintain unity between us...do we really need such incidents to bring out our unity? cant we take preventive steps to avoid future occurences? cant we prevent such incidents? cant we citizens..civilians..be watchfull, and alert? cant we report suspicious activity, and get it resolved? we need to take action now. cuz time n again, authorities, their intelligence, has fallen short of the need. we should help them, and not keep cursing them for their incompetence.

May the SouLs of those affected in Mumbai rest in peace...and May God give strength to those whose kith n kin were snatched away from them.

i close today's clog on a wary note.


God Bless.

a night of revelations.....


you never thought ppl were doing all sorta shit when in junior college..i mean...jeez! and yet they were...


a night of revelations has brought in its wake mny new disclosures....and yet they were not new in a way....


certain ppl...take advantage o their dominating position, give their free time to certain ppl, manipulate them, use them, and all o this with a specific goal in mind.....and ya know wat's d worst part? he gets wat he set off longing for, in d first place.....how i hate SD....never thought u were such an ass man....a real ass. :-|


and then there are those who will never learn....if only HRJ was able to be more mature.....dude....tu kuthlya kuthe pohochla astas......i hope u r able 2 grow now, and keep stupid stuff out of the way....grow with us man....don stay stuck behind....i wud hate you for doing it to yourself....and myself for not helping you get over it, and fot not showing you the right direction.....cuz afterall, wat r friends for.....i will try...real hard....repeatedly...till i succeed.


and then there was d wave-length match.....i mean, from the "ay" to d "zee"....how can two people think and react to situations in d exact same manner....how can we have d EXACT same way o treating situations...handling people....and yet be as disparate as can be.......SRD man....missed ya! we must have such talk-nights once every fortnight.....i will ensure we do...and so will you....

jus talkin bout random stuff....or even d most personal stuff....many things feel sorted out when you talk with an unbiased friend....a friend who understands you...and a friend who likes you for you...who has seen the good in you.....and who knows how to nurture the good in you....bring out your best.....knows how to deal with you....without you even having to say a word....and how you know with d same accuracy what to do, and how to be with him....d understanding...d maturity....d wave-length matching.....dude! let's become partners! ;) :D


sitting in that CCD....at 3 in the night....with the cold around you...some nice looking people to give you company...and some very pleasant individuals...jus giving a smile...and they make you feel so good...! was she looking at santosh? was she really letching at him? i think so. :P
and he says der was another one doin d same with me....ha ha.. :P mind games dude...mind games... ;D

for a recent discovery has tried to shatter d small amount of confidence i was beginning to have in my external appearance....not that i ever cared...but someone made me feel good about it....but then again took it back.....feels like i have been cheated...fooled into believing something wrong....and feel so bad about myself....or did it? did it ever matter to me? it never did...never will...cuz wat's inside matters so much more to me...dat d packing is just a part of d person...i mean, i had started liking wat i never did...not my kinda gal...in looks...but she is so amazing inside...such a gr8 person...and a wonderful human...i jus kicked out my biases and preferences...for i knew it was right..i know it is...i hope she sees it soon enough...for her sake...and mine too...cuz i still see the person that she is...wonderful and beautiful...


SRD has brought to my notice many new avenues and opportunities...he gave me a very clear and practical approach to my future plans...cuz i need to know for sure, dat wat i m planning to do, has a bearing on my long-term plans...even though i might say i wanna do s'thin cuz i want to, and can, i know inside...i wont ever go out on such a huge decision on a limb...although i DO know for sure, that FM is interesting, and i would like to work in it...i need 2 know for sure that wat i am doing is d right thing to do.....find d best way to do it...and find d best platform to help me do what i want to do....not just go outa d city cuz i wanna b away 4m d 2 individuals more engrossed in my life than myself....cuz de r afterall...d source...and i originate in them..

ISB seems to be the best option right now...analysed my alternatives....considering the market condition..demand-supply scenario...and the economy...UK is a good option...lenient work norms...conducive environment...but all of this, only if i can get into d best...Harvard or the like...cuz i don want anything but the best....but, as SRD pointed out, ISB is d strongest contender...he made me realise, dat i should check out my capability, and the probability of me getting in there....cuz once i do, der's nothin stopping me....

and the hotel is prominent on everybody's mind...to put a long story short, ppl r dyin 2 get into d business...u jus need 2 choose, mix-n-match from those available, and get ur team ready...and jus jump in!

wish to consume * ahem * now...dyin to.....bin longing for it 4 quite a while now.....i hope i get to, wit d KNP group.... ;D
i hope AAB makes a good plan....or else i am gonna ditch em, and go with KNP guys...at least i will satisfy my urge with them....cuz i really need to....since a long time..... hee hee.. :D

well...many more posts forthcoming from me now....

NjoY LyF bloggers!
cheers n ciao! :D

how do i start today...?
(original post...didnt know the draft was saved...well...gotta increase number o posts dont i? so publishing this one too.... :D )


never felt such a confusing amount of myriad feelings overwhelming me...



why isnt there a fear? why this coolness surrounding my psyche? what is it bout this.....that makes me not worry bout anythin?



yea...tiz logical...everything seems to be done with a certain amount of certainty in me...i just cant explain this today....



there's this fear of being able to bear the responsibility......and then there's also this confidence...that i can do it....i am meant to....and i wont falter.....



nothing is seeming as a deja vu now....everythin a new experience...new emotions...and new ways being learnt...new acquaintances....(yea..cuz i dunno wat to call dis rite now)..and some sort of uncontrollable bond...not meant to be in my control....neither's control here.....



and then there is the happiness of a friend returning... :D

dude.......:D \m/ B-)

i mean....the excitement.....we have bin talkin on messengers for more than 6 months i guess....will he have changed...will his demeanour have twisted..towards more warmth...or will he stil be the same ol cool dude?

what i DO know for sure is, ma best bud's coming back.....and i cant wait to see him! :D

(jus wish cud go for d "welcome-bac-pick-up" to mumbai.. :O )



but as we already "logically" decided...tiz better to meet here, than jago fy unnecessarily, and shit wit ma schedule and him not bein upto it also....most probs....but guess jet lag's not an issue-wasn't last time- with SuperMan.. :P



but am i scared...really? ya kno wat...i aint thinkin...let it be with the heart dis time.....and have faith....and open up....time i got out o d shell...high time....and not for any aira-gaira...soulmates arent easy to come by.....as is envisioned in Many Souls, Many Masters...[yea saw..i remembered d name today.. ;) ]..by Brian Weiss.. :D



m sure this time i aint gonna fall....neither will you.....we'll hold each other tight...and try to squeeze d livin lights outa each other.. ;) :D

NjoY LyF!!! :D

just 10 blog entries in 2008? :O
dude! wat m i doin! :Oi mean..yea..study is important n all...but...dude!! gotta post more! i mean...cant break ma track record of at least 20 posts since i started writing, can i? No SiR!
gonna post more now... :D

alone..... singled out..... solitary...... without friends...... without love..... but with an aim....that looks unachievable..... but proven time and again to be possible..... with old friends..... and new..... sweet stuff..... some bitterness..... living our own lives..... some give some importance...... and others don't..... some act as if they are giving importance..... but to them their own happiness, and self actualisations matter more..... and while this goes on..we think...some don't...others do too much...... but why is everyone moving apart....? do i give less effort to my relations....or is it just that my life's meant to be a roller coaster of movin on wit relations.....? friends.... love.... enemies..... compatriots...... all move on.... and i remain behind..... with the memories, and times 2 cherish...some to forget....others to make my heart weak......and life goes on.....
will this ever end? the aimless feeling...the sense of moving towards a goal that keeps running away from me.....and working towards such a huge and difficult wave.....makin my surf-board wobble precariously..... makin me lose sight of things other than the present....cant think of the future....cuz i dunno who will be there.... for i have become like a tourist vehicle...i meet new people..they take me for long drives...and then, when their time is up, they get out....leaving me to live my own, miserable, lonely life.....

but life goes on............................................................................................................................

WHY...?


no reasons....no explanations....

no words left.........................................................................

lost in a tranquil of worry....guilt....care...truthfulness...(supposed)...and a calm...that is unnerving....

it is funny how, what seemed like a big sadness till some time ago, seems to fade out in a snap of the fingers, when all that you live for is challenged.....and not without reason too.....

decisions............
u make some wrong ones....and then live with them.....but now the question is, will this one cost more than anything else....?

here's a hypothecation..

there were two best friends....A and B....always used 2 tell each other the truth....
then one day, A was offered a bribe.....both being morally inclined,he told it to B, stating that he took an advance of some of it...to check B's reactions....
B, thinking that A is changing, doesnt say anything on it, thinking it is his personal matter.....although they have always talked about not to take any bribes,and not sellin their souls....
but what goes on in A's mind is, that B too wants him 2 take the bribe.....so he just tells B that he took the remaining bribe too...
that is when all hell breaks loose...and B cant take it...and decides to break his friendship...cuz he cant stay with a liar........A somehow convinces him to stay......but things are not the same anymore.....
and A, keeps trying to get the guts to tell what actually happened...but somehow cant.....
one day,after they have sort of pushed all of this under the carpet, A musters the courage, and tells all to B...that he never took the bribe....not even the advance......none.

now imagine B's dilemma....
was A lying the first time...? is he lying just now...? why did he have to lie to me the other way around....? and his biggest conviction - he cant stand liars................................................................................................

A was never justified in anything....but sometimes,we do things to please others.....to be ranked higher in a peer group....or just do crazy stuff....

but what we dont think,is the consequences they will bring.........

well, A will surely live with the guilt.....for life.......and never be able 2 look B in the eye.......ever.......all he can do now, is try n regain B's trust....the long and tedious process....the time required for,and efforts,are as subjective as is the definition of life, given by different people....or that of faith...belief....and our existence itself.....

decisions....mistakes....questions....no answers....

cant ask 2 enjoy life today...............cuz don know if m ever gona b able to now......................dont think i will.....
Sorry AJ.

SuccesS....relativity doesn't apply to any concept more than this EntrapmenT tool...that locks you up, and throws the keys away in the sea of disparity that it's relative assesment brings along.....

wat if u get it easily....academically....in love....in ur career?

Be Scared...REAL scared....cuz it brings along it's own vices of altered attitude, casualty towards responsibilities....and an eased temperament.....

on the other hand, as a very influential mentor of mine says, be Pro-Active boys, not reactive....totally abide by that Shah sir.... :D

and not that it's only a negative...it also brings along the major chances of proving ur mettle, stayin grounded...and not fallin prey to fallacies creating an abbrasive persona..capable of inflicting hurt on the multitudinal situations....

well, life goes on.,.,..and i am somewhat scared......i shouldn't be able to get so much so easily....and that too unexpectedly......should i? maybe tiz d fruit of past efforts...as usual....but what if not?

well,one thing's 4 sure....m scared....SHiTLeSS....

GawD bless mine soul... :o

NjoY LyF!!! :D

The Child Inside Us....

a stray incident, a friend, really opening up, and becoming a kid again.....starts a thought process...that makes you think.... where , when, how, and why, did d child inside me die?

or better still,if d kid's stil in there,wat do i do 2 make him grow,into becomin more like a child....full of free expression....free from bias.....living a life, pregnant with possibilities, which hav no end to them.....which just goes on exploring newer vistas....and giving a shape, 2 d raw clay, that is our life....

doesnt it always continue in d same manner?

jus that, we dont acknowledge it,in the latter parts of our lives....we become bosses, professionals, businessmen....we're not supposed to act immature....we're held guilty of misconduct,if the child within is let loose....rightly so,in d given scenario....but where does this lead us? it just adds 2 the reasons,why we are not enjoying life, the way we should be,and adding fuel to all the lunatic, "mature" behaviour....

i'm not saying that's wrong....i m jus saying, that a little light-headedness is also required...to maintain the sanity....

another point in thinking....bein alone....pro's - con's...

pro's - no constant "career guidance" ; freedom 2 roam around; freedom 2 call anyone home,anytime ; use ur time as u want....etc...etc....

con's - make ur own food;have meals alone,as tiz not necessary,dat ppl wil hav time 4 you al d time ; clean up after urself(da's da worst).

but tiz fine.....i can come outa dis alive,afterall... ;)

n well,NjoY LyF fellow bloggers....u only get ONE....

new post in d making....plz await refreshes 2 d page... ;)

ah...writin after ages it seems!!! :)

wat is it wit my frenz....it never stops,and i never stop writin bout it!!! :D

certain "close" frenz r movin away......as usual.... :O

and dat too unexpectedly.... :O

and some r jus movin outta d country!! #-o

n den der r d other "northern" connections....de keep givin me newer dreams,dese ppl!!

and my cell...:((

y did it hav 2 screw up immed...? :(

given it 4 servicin...hopefully shud get it bac in bout 15 days... :O :-(

and den,der r d angels.....d "U" one is d only permanent one,rite now....otherz r crazy... :P

and also,newer hopes,everyday....why cant i stop?

god help me.... :O

and some kiddos runnin around...primadonna,n JD...wat de r doin,is known only 2 dem...

n wat WAS dat recharge thing? did JD really think i was foolish enuf 2 becum a bakra? or was it jus a spur of d moment thing? wateva may it be,i am goin 2 surely recover dat money 4m him...if not,den his dad.. :P

but if d aezule duped me,i m sure i will get bac dat money one day....and he will pay 4 it someday...destiny wil take care o dat... ;) cuz actually,100 bucks makes me no diff,but if he thinks he got d better of me,he's in 4 an ass kickin... :P

newys,othe dan dat,Mumbai ROKS!! :D

and Oxygen,even more so.. :D

n wel,feels good rite now,2 b free of some mental bondings...i m no more too atached 2 certain engaging persons in life....many things contributed 2 it... ;)

and well,prep'in 4 exams.....tryin hard 2 get it... :D

till next time....

NjoY LyF !! :d

ever met an old friend,and not recognised them?

as in,not physically,but jus like u dont know who this person in front of you is... :o

and d marriage thing was NoT funny,Miss R.D.K... :o

and then there are these friends dat you "bump" into....jus make life so much better!!

i m very happy 2 meet you three ... :)

and o curs,some "facilitating" people never learn....

how can you "understand" physical violence..?
how can u stay wit a guy who calls you names,hits you,bangs ur head....etc..etc..?
and give him another chance......?

facility is officially crazy.

and then expecting another person to be with you,even after he tells you 2 leave him,n u dont...is another sign o craziness.. :o

i choose 2 ignore you now.

and miss R.D.K.....hmmmm.....

wat's wit d mind games..? cuz i am seriously NoT interested girl....get a life. ;)

n well,considering dat u wont read dis,m jus gona write,dat beware....i am gona play around in a similar manner too... :P

n well,when i needed some1 special 2 b with me,she's decided 2 take a small break wit me....cuda used bein wit you AJ....but well,not ur fault...situations r not in our control...n i MUST give you COmpleTe consideration,considering the recent past... :)

but jus feel....cuda used bein wit you rite now... :(

thankfully,these last two days have bin gr8 for me,wit ma newfound friends....true friends in d sense of the term....very rare species,i might say... :D

jus make you feel so good bout urself...play around wit you...luk at girls u like...even point out some 4 you...u also end up "helpin" them...jus cuz a gal fren wanted 2 c dis guy,i actually went,n made frenz wit him!! :D
never done dat b4....hehehe....
wel,it ws but natural to do dat,as a reciprocation for wat the 3 had bin doin 4 me... :D

and well,feels good 2 lose a bit o flab,n come bac 2 d old form...makes you feel so good,wen d galz giv ya dose looks... ;)

newys,life's a roller coaster rite now....

Njoy it as it comes, they say... :)

Njoy LyF PeoPLe... :)