i'm an average guy!

he doesn't go to extremes..

he's not the man of your dreams...



not saying that cuz he's self-deprecating..

just the truth it is, that i am repeating...



but let me tell you something about averages..

they stay with you longer than boys on stages...



the average guy won't have a million fans..

but he sure knows how to hold you..how to dance...



no, he isn't something from your dreams..something fantastic..

but he will be there when you're not well..or simply feel sick...



don't underestimate the average guy, for you never know..

he can make you happy with his average arrow..his average bow...



he won't get jealous..he won't make you so..

he has other average things that make him go...



the average guy..he's a useful chap..

not too strong, not too weak, but just makes the gap...



he is the one you want, if you want stability..

happiness, that is average..average his ability...



no one takes pride in being the average guy today..

so just wrote something, to spread what he'd to say..! :)

The Traveler

Well, i have been travelling through time a LOT.

yeah, not the literal time travel...just in my head...and not just into the past...but into the future too...

and they both have a similarity...

both provide you different versions of events, if you change one small, but significant variable...and most of the times it is the timing of those events itself... :)

some past events have taught me something...and a few have been wasted...a few i shall cherish forever..and a few i have already begun to wipe...

the versions of tomorrow, though , are what i have been visiting oft repeatedly...

and you know what? surprise! surprise! i hate uncertainty :-/

who doesn't?

ok, there might be a few of you who will go, NO! i love spontaneity! i love being in the moment! i don't want to know for certain what i am gonna do tomorrow!

i am not talking about tmrw, literally, you dumbass! i am talking about the nearby..and not so nearby, future...

like the kind of lifestyle...the kind of life...and the kind of mannerisms i want...

for one thing, i am CRAVING for simplicity...somewhat akin to an obsession... I mean, i have HAD IT with complicated life...i do NOT want to be doing one hundred million things at a time! (in this context, anything more than 3 = one hundred million)

and even those 3 things that i AM doing, need not be done simultaneously...it should flow independent of each other, and not interweaving...that simply makes life worth horse shit. after he has cannibalized. Yes. :|

i don't want a bazillion friends...i don't want to go to a party every weekend...i want to enjoy life...one moment at a time...

yeah, so basically, i wanna plan what i am gonna do tmrw, so i can live in today.

seems legit! :P

but yeah, enough of the rambling :P

toodle-do :P

As i Mature...

As i mature...I've learned that you can't make someone love you.

All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. :P

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes. X-(

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. :O

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that you better have a big willy or huge boobs. ;)

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others.

They are more screwed up than you think...

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities. ;)

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take it's place. :P

I've learned that 99 of the time, when something isn't working in your house, one of the kids did it. :D

I've learned that the people you care most about in life, are taken from you too soon, and all the less important ones just never go away.. :(

On the Confusing Side of 25..

‎23-25 is not a nice age for a man.... 


your ex-gfs are getting married , 


Your career has just started, 


Elders treat you as unproven theorems, 


College guys feel that you are too old to have in their group... 


You seem to enjoy both cartoons and the news. 


You can no longer eat whatever you wish without putting on weight. 


You look like an ape if you don’t shave daily. 


You are not invited for weekend cricket matches . 


Every Aunty you meet asks “Shaadi kab kar rahe ho beta!!” 


while uncle asks “Career ka kya socha hai beta…”.. 








When the reality is that you are just riding the wave and going with the flow… 


You have all the confidence in the world but little achievements to show, 


You already have the first hand experience of life , 


You know that whatever you have been taught about the world in schools has been sheer 


waste of time. 


You can be denied a job even after passing the test and you could be given a job if you 


know someone placed high enough… 


Politics till now was a dirty word but now you feel it everywhere. 


You know now love is not that blind and that friendship has its terms and conditions. .


You know there is nothing for granted and free lunches are not free… 






Your overconfidence is now making way for....


 a humble conscience! :)

How to Ride a Bike in Pune - 01

Pune is notorious for it's "scarce" traffic...and the "wonderful" driving sense of it's citizens...and like any other almost-metro city, it retains the image very well.

So here are some pointers on how to drive / ride in the city...and live to tell about it! :P

1. Have a kickass bike..

Ok. Really? This is what u got? :|

more like >>>>

yeah! Now you are talking!

2. Don't give a SHIT about other people on the road.

Act as if u own the road. And the footpath. And the dividers too. :P

3. Curse at least once every 4 minutes at a random rider/ driver...asking them if they think the road belongs to their father (s) :P

4. Get training in cross-country riding...it is a MUST , since u r driving on potholes, with some patches of roads in between.... 

5. Grow a kick-ass beard and have a constant angry look on your face. Somewhat like this >>

6. If any one cuts your path wrongly, give people the "rock" look...

Ok u might not have d muscles...but yeah...

7. now u will ask what bout d gals?

well my dear female readers...you have been granted unlimited power to accelerate / brake / turn / ram into other vehicles...as per your fancy. we have officially declared female drivers / riders in pune a "chalta-firta" accident zone. :P

since u have gotten the idea from the title, this is the first part of many in this series...

ur contributions on the topic of discussion are welcome ;)

NjoY LyF guys! :D

Idiotic Writer

i write for my own...
and i like talking on the phone..!!

writing comes naturally to me...like breathing...
having a tel malish champi is so soothing..!!

writers tend to be weird thinkers they say...
my gym instructors always tried to sell me protein whey..!!

writer's block...i will kill you one day...
ooh...is that a cadbury dairy milk in that tray? :D

NjoY LyF Bloggers! :D

Every night in my dreams
I see you, I feel you
Cuz only there u wont sue me for that...


Far across the distance
And spaces between us
You have come to show me ur new Car.. :|



Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that ur pants are.....not on...
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my house! You idiotic Perv!
And my rant will go on and on






Love can touch us one time
And you'll be scarred for lifetime
And never let go till she's gone



Love was when I loved you
And Hate was When i Hated You!! (Duh!)
In my life we'll always Rock ON!! \m/ (Hai ye wakt ka ishaara!!)


Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the ur shirt too...is gone!! (kameene!!)
Once more you open the door
And that's it i m callin d cops :|
And ur Jail Term... will go on and on....

You're here, that's d only thing I fear!!
And i hope...it's my gun that...my left hand is on...
We'll stay forever this way!!
i just ate...some potatoes...
And my fart will go on and on... (tarrrr....tarrrr.....plebhhhhttttccc)

suffer of 69..

I got my first real g-string
Bought it at the five-and-dime
Played 'til my fingers bled (with a G-String???)
Cuz It was the summer of '69 (oh-kayyyy)

Me and some guys from school
Went to Gym and we tried real hard....
Jimmy quit and Jody got married (WTF married?)
I shoulda known we'd never get to the Marathon...

Oh when I look back now..
Those work-outs seemed to last forever..
And if I had the choice..
Ya - I'd NEVER wanna be there...
Those were the WORST days of my life...!!

(CHORUS)

Ain't no use in complainin'..
When you got a job to do.. (True True)
Spent my evenin's down at the drive in.. (U Bloody Loosarrr)
And that's when I met you... (chaavat! porinkade baghto!) :P

Standin with ur mama's torch..
You told me that you'd wait forever... (Loosarrr no.2 :| )
Oh and when you held my hand... 
I knew that it was now or never...
That if u let go of my Hand...
I would grab ur purse and make a dash for it!!! (teehee)


Those were the best days of my life

(Chorus) Back in Summer of '69

Man we were killin' time... (yeah cuz we are time killarrrsss!!)
We were young and restless.. (new daily soap name....young and restless....not THAT kind of serial ppl :| sheeh :| )


We needed to unwind... (like clocks? really? wth ARE u?? :O)
I guess nothin' can last forever, no... 


(now this one depends on your definition of forever...never say forever cuz it means never....and forever is a figment of imagination as there cannot be a witness to said time frame....wait...am i digressing...?? ANYWAY...moving on..)

And now the times are changin'.. (irrelevant paraphernalia)
Look at everything that's come and gone... (yeah...all the current's...ex'es...flings....not-just-friends...oh-we're-only-friends...etc etc.....blabbety blabbety blah!)

Sometimes when I play with that old g-string (ewww grosse dude!)
I think about ya wonder what went wrong... (THAT right there DUDE! playing with a g-string? really? and u need to know WHAT went wrong???? O_o)

Standin' on a mama's porch..
You told me it would last forever...
Oh the way you held my hand...
I knew that it was now or never....
Those were the best days of my life

(Chorus) Back in summer of '69 




:D :D


Thank you...Thank You...


No Violens Pliz Ppl :|

Of Scooter Rides in the Rains.....

i recently rediscovered the FUN of riding a scooter...

which made me look like this >>

Whenever my dad goes out of town, i am the bali-ka-bakra for getting his scooter serviced and maintained etc..

i ALWAYS crib about this...

but what many ppl don't know, is that i secretly LOVE riding d Activa...

so why is it so much fun to ride?

for starters, NO CLUTCH / GEAR jhanjhat :P

i LoVe d freedom it gives you....u can ride with just one hand most of d time...

and it feels brilliant...

and with my recent (ahem) weight loss (cough-what weight loss-cough) it runs even faster...and it picks up speed also pretty nicely...what? i HAD lost 200 gms today morning ok...just before i consumed the 6-pack of ferrero rocher.... :P

and especially in the rains...it is BliSS to have a compartment to store ur jacket and other sensitive-to-water stuff...

and u can simply run into puddles...and splash water on by-goers :P

but the best part is, not having wet legs!

errr....stop thinking idiotic things u a$$%^@#S!! :P

so till i get this scooter, m gonna imagine i m on it only...

GOD save those whom i overtake etc... :P


until next time...

NjoY LyF bloggers!! :D

Hum Tum...Ek Kamre Me..............

Baahar se koi andar na aa sake Andar se koi baahar na jaa sake Socho kabhi aisa ho to kya ho...Tihar Jail Me.... Socho kabhi aisa ho to kya ho... ;) Tere nainon ki bhoolbhulaiya mein....Akshay Kumar Mil Jaaye..... :P Hum tum ek kamre mein band ho, aur Internet Down Ho Jaaye!!! *Oh Noes!!!* :S Aage ho ghanghor andhera... FB profile me Dikhe na Mera Chehra.... :( Twitter pe jaana ho mushkil... Orkut pe Jaaneka kare Dil...!!! Socho kabhi Aisa ho to kya Ho... Socho kabhi Aisa ho to kya Ho... Hum tum kahin ko jaa rahe ho... Google Maps band ho jaaye...!!! :S *oh..we're f^^ked now bro!* Hum tum kahin ko jaa rahe ho, aur 3G Band ho jaaye.... Teri baiyaan ke jhoole mein saiyaan, 3G hotspot waste ho jae!!!! Basti se door, parbat ke peechhe Masti mein choor ghane pedon ke neeche Andekhi anjaani si tablet ho Bas ek hum ho, duja hi-speed network ho...!!! Socho kabhi aisa ho to kya ho... Socho kabhi aisa ho to kya ho... Hum tum ek jungle se guzre, aur sher aa jaaye... Sher se main kahoon tumko chhod de agar... To use dikhaunga Jungle Book, YouTube par... :D Kya hoga kal kisko khabar hai Aaj chalu....na Jaane kal kaunsa Mall Down Under Hai.... Socho kabhi aisa ho to kya ho... Socho kabhi aisa ho to kya ho... Hum tum server room mein band ho, aur Admin chhuti pe chala jaaye.... Tere network ke bhoolbhulaiya mein... 1 GBPS connection Mil jaaye... Socho kabhi aisa ho to kya ho... Socho kabhi aisa ho to kya ho... __________________________________________________________ (Statutory Warning - trying to track down the poet and / or his computer in order to destroy it, will prove to be a waste of time...i have an android phone...and a netbook....and 15 desktops in office. You CanNot Stop Me....BuhahahahaHAHAHhahaha :P )  _________________________________________________________ P.S. : - the Links ARE funny and interesting...one or two are ads or informative...but others are strictly for leisure viewing! Dare You see them outside ur office! :P NjoY LyF bloggers :D

~~ time travel ~~

i am fascinated by the fascination we humans have for time travel....

ok, before any of you jump to the conclusion i fear you are going to jump to, this post is NOT inspired by "acction repplay"...but by "Hot Tub Time Machine"...

so, as you should have read the reviews in d links above.....d bollywood take on time travel pretty much sucks...and hollywood wins hands down with it's take on an ever-intriguing concept....

so...that just got my thought wheels churning....

so....WHY are we SO intrigued by time travel?
take a look at a few genuine  attempts at making a time machine...and of course, the eventual failure at d same..

and then there are those who cant stop thinking about possibilities for their uses...

and this was just a slow lift.....caught by someone like me, with a good sense of humor... ;)

what? i DO have a good sense of humor ok? :P


so....i fail to understand the need to travel back in time!!

ok...ok...there were times when i wished i could go back and change ONE small thing....ok...maybe two....ummm...now that i think of it....3....no wait...4....5.....6....ahh...d list can go on.... ;)


but, i dont see why one would want to go back in time....future is justified....so u can make profits....ummm...actually,,,,even past can yield profits....

ANYWAY....the point being....

that time travel, as interesting as it might seem, except for some really tragic / life changing stuff, is pretty useless....to travel just for making money, i.e.


cant we dream about our needs....aspirations....hopes....and make them true now?

let's just start dreaming real hard....and working on those even harder...!!

cuz...as far as i know...i aint a scientist to build a time machine....and none that i know have built one...and even if they do, human tendency to be selfish comes in the way of time travel....

so...let's live today....not in yesterday...not for tomorrow....but IN today....FOR today..!!!


p.s. - pls share with me if u make a time machine... ;)


ah....yess....another pointless blog....

Mission FUCKIN' Accomplished! :P


NjoY LyF Bloggerzzzzzzzz :D

Saw Rajniti finally, on Saturday night with two other ppl who had been spared the torture yet, and were eager to undergo some penance for their sins...

here are a few observations in the movie -

1. Either the guys were super-fertile...or the gals were from Species (remember? - "i can feel life") - do it one time, and they're preggy. :-|

2. If so many lives were taken in each election, i vouch for more elections...monthly elections even....population control method :D

3. All d guys were trying to kiss Ranbir Kapoor...seriously....the display of macho lowe was too much....but only his Dad managed to do so, @ d Airport...and then died. :-|

4. Nana Patekar must've paid a helluva amount in the production....he's not holding any post...he's simply an advisor...still everywhere, he is seen sitting on a chair higher than everyone else....wtf was he doing?? :P

5. Ajay Devgan was having either the loosies or piles while shooting for his first kabaddi scene....i mean...he was walking WIERDLY. and walking...not running or jumping.... :O u have to see it to understand what i m saying... :P

6. Ranbir Kapoor has consistently lost weight through the movie... :O

7. Kat's character is d stupidest in the movie..(mind you, also d hottest nevertheless)...and i simply can't fathom being a football, jo kick maare, us direction me chali gayi...way to go, for a Chief Minister i'd say :-|

8. WHY did they kill d hot firang chick? :( dayyam :(

9. When the car blasts apart, killing Arjun Rampal and Sarah Thompson, the whole bloody Merc is in chars, but the bodies of Arjun and Sarah are intact....save for a few burn marks... :O

10. Arjun Rampal can ACT. kudos to his performance.... :)

well, that and a few other things...but this is enough for now...

NjoY LyF people! :D

...iPhone...to be or not to be...

Let's start from the very beginning....

i was introduced to the concept of Apple around the beginning of this decade...yes, i did not know Mac et all...

i had seen an apple store somewhere near Pune Station...and was totally impressed with the glam look...the beautiful products....and was wondering....what makes them special??

10 years down, after endless reviews being read, technical magazines surveyed, all online crap read....and i m still asking the same question. :-|

i mean....wtf is wrong with so many people?????? :O

and sadly, one of my close friends is such a person....he's what i like to call an "apple-shaker"....no, he doesn't groove to apple's iTunes (R).....rather, apple makes him shake...and break....

yeah break....cuz d poor guy is So torn right now, that i simply can't express enough sympathy....and simply cannot fathom what it would take to empathize with him... ;)

well, it all started with d iPhone....a phone, multimedia device, and an ipod, all together!! woo-hoo!

suck my grandma's dog's @$$ idiots. :-|

this, when we already had awesome products in the market...Sony Ericsson were already hitting it big time with their walkman phones, and nokia (the mass seller in India), was almost warming up to consumer needs, and believe it or not, changing according to it!!

so what made the iPhone a game-changer then? the touch screen.

and of course, in my personal opinion, touch screens are a bag o dino crap. i mean...nothin does it like physical keys....i prefer something like this >>

cuz...well...that's what i can afford for now :P

anyway, back to the topic on hand...

then came other touch screen phones, loads of music phones, and of course, the mobile phone camera wars...what, with some companies even going to the extent of 12 mp cameras...i mean....really? :O

but recently, when the iPhone finally, officially came to India, it came at a time, when the iPhone 3gs was already launched in the Americas...which reminds me of a funny incident...

we were at a party, where one of my friends introduced her amriki fiance-to-be to us...and suddenly the lights went off...i promptly took out my phone, and switched on the torch at the back...and d amriki dude was like....which phone is that? we dont get such phones in d US...only d stupid iPhones are good enough...!!

and i was lol'ing...and roflmao'ing....of course, all in my mind... :P

anyway, so there...i got evidence from an iPhone user, that they are only using them for lack of better options...

but i m sure this guy was totally misinformed....and ignorant....cuz there ARE a ZILLION other options!!!

and here i wanna publish my current favorite image >>

see the android tattoo? :D

oh crap.....not dis one....who put d pic of d GF in me comp :-|

i actually meant this one >>

oh yeah!!!

since the beginning, Google has impressed me...and always given us more and more innovations...(although i wouldn't say that about Google Maps ...cuz according to it, u are required to swim across the atlantic for going to Paris from the US East Coast :P )

but believe me, the Android system is.....ah...i won't go into that...that will be a separate post...right now we are on apple-shakin' ;)

so, yeah...once the iPhone 3gs DID come to India, within a month, Mr.Jobbs decided to launch iPhone 4. :-|

and now my friend is again caught in the age long debate....to buy or not to buy.. :-|

well,i'd say, go out, buy the latest android phone, cuz as it is, android phones are providing better facilities, ugrades, and with the given variety of manufacturers using this platform, we are sure, you will find the one that suits you...

but still some fools will line up for the iPhone...

and the question comes back to me....what makes the phones special??

and i conclude...the people who buy them are special...they need our love and support...and care...

cuz u gotta be really demented to buy an apple product people!!!

are you reading this???

DON'T BUY iPHONES...they suck!

*whew*

now that that's outta my system...i shall go and buy a nice new android....or at least ogle at one... ;)

and here's some oglin' stuff for ya'll mortals to worship>>

HTC Centurion (a work in progress....hopefully should hit markets by Q4)

The Sony Ericsson Xperia X10

HTC Hero

Motocalgary Android

Blackberry Bold (Not an android...but BB....it's a class apart...)

of course, none of these other than the Xperia have been launched in India...but neither has the iPhone 4gs...so who's complaining? we ALL are. :-|

till next time...

NjoY Lyf bloggers! :D