alone..... singled out..... solitary...... without friends...... without love..... but with an aim....that looks unachievable..... but proven time and again to be possible..... with old friends..... and new..... sweet stuff..... some bitterness..... living our own lives..... some give some importance...... and others don't..... some act as if they are giving importance..... but to them their own happiness, and self actualisations matter more..... and while this goes on..we think...some don't...others do too much...... but why is everyone moving apart....? do i give less effort to my relations....or is it just that my life's meant to be a roller coaster of movin on wit relations.....? friends.... love.... enemies..... compatriots...... all move on.... and i remain behind..... with the memories, and times 2 cherish...some to forget....others to make my heart weak......and life goes on.....
will this ever end? the aimless feeling...the sense of moving towards a goal that keeps running away from me.....and working towards such a huge and difficult wave.....makin my surf-board wobble precariously..... makin me lose sight of things other than the present....cant think of the future....cuz i dunno who will be there.... for i have become like a tourist vehicle...i meet new people..they take me for long drives...and then, when their time is up, they get out....leaving me to live my own, miserable, lonely life.....

but life goes on............................................................................................................................

WHY...?


no reasons....no explanations....

no words left.........................................................................

lost in a tranquil of worry....guilt....care...truthfulness...(supposed)...and a calm...that is unnerving....

it is funny how, what seemed like a big sadness till some time ago, seems to fade out in a snap of the fingers, when all that you live for is challenged.....and not without reason too.....

decisions............
u make some wrong ones....and then live with them.....but now the question is, will this one cost more than anything else....?

here's a hypothecation..

there were two best friends....A and B....always used 2 tell each other the truth....
then one day, A was offered a bribe.....both being morally inclined,he told it to B, stating that he took an advance of some of it...to check B's reactions....
B, thinking that A is changing, doesnt say anything on it, thinking it is his personal matter.....although they have always talked about not to take any bribes,and not sellin their souls....
but what goes on in A's mind is, that B too wants him 2 take the bribe.....so he just tells B that he took the remaining bribe too...
that is when all hell breaks loose...and B cant take it...and decides to break his friendship...cuz he cant stay with a liar........A somehow convinces him to stay......but things are not the same anymore.....
and A, keeps trying to get the guts to tell what actually happened...but somehow cant.....
one day,after they have sort of pushed all of this under the carpet, A musters the courage, and tells all to B...that he never took the bribe....not even the advance......none.

now imagine B's dilemma....
was A lying the first time...? is he lying just now...? why did he have to lie to me the other way around....? and his biggest conviction - he cant stand liars................................................................................................

A was never justified in anything....but sometimes,we do things to please others.....to be ranked higher in a peer group....or just do crazy stuff....

but what we dont think,is the consequences they will bring.........

well, A will surely live with the guilt.....for life.......and never be able 2 look B in the eye.......ever.......all he can do now, is try n regain B's trust....the long and tedious process....the time required for,and efforts,are as subjective as is the definition of life, given by different people....or that of faith...belief....and our existence itself.....

decisions....mistakes....questions....no answers....

cant ask 2 enjoy life today...............cuz don know if m ever gona b able to now......................dont think i will.....
Sorry AJ.

SuccesS....relativity doesn't apply to any concept more than this EntrapmenT tool...that locks you up, and throws the keys away in the sea of disparity that it's relative assesment brings along.....

wat if u get it easily....academically....in love....in ur career?

Be Scared...REAL scared....cuz it brings along it's own vices of altered attitude, casualty towards responsibilities....and an eased temperament.....

on the other hand, as a very influential mentor of mine says, be Pro-Active boys, not reactive....totally abide by that Shah sir.... :D

and not that it's only a negative...it also brings along the major chances of proving ur mettle, stayin grounded...and not fallin prey to fallacies creating an abbrasive persona..capable of inflicting hurt on the multitudinal situations....

well, life goes on.,.,..and i am somewhat scared......i shouldn't be able to get so much so easily....and that too unexpectedly......should i? maybe tiz d fruit of past efforts...as usual....but what if not?

well,one thing's 4 sure....m scared....SHiTLeSS....

GawD bless mine soul... :o

NjoY LyF!!! :D

The Child Inside Us....

a stray incident, a friend, really opening up, and becoming a kid again.....starts a thought process...that makes you think.... where , when, how, and why, did d child inside me die?

or better still,if d kid's stil in there,wat do i do 2 make him grow,into becomin more like a child....full of free expression....free from bias.....living a life, pregnant with possibilities, which hav no end to them.....which just goes on exploring newer vistas....and giving a shape, 2 d raw clay, that is our life....

doesnt it always continue in d same manner?

jus that, we dont acknowledge it,in the latter parts of our lives....we become bosses, professionals, businessmen....we're not supposed to act immature....we're held guilty of misconduct,if the child within is let loose....rightly so,in d given scenario....but where does this lead us? it just adds 2 the reasons,why we are not enjoying life, the way we should be,and adding fuel to all the lunatic, "mature" behaviour....

i'm not saying that's wrong....i m jus saying, that a little light-headedness is also required...to maintain the sanity....

another point in thinking....bein alone....pro's - con's...

pro's - no constant "career guidance" ; freedom 2 roam around; freedom 2 call anyone home,anytime ; use ur time as u want....etc...etc....

con's - make ur own food;have meals alone,as tiz not necessary,dat ppl wil hav time 4 you al d time ; clean up after urself(da's da worst).

but tiz fine.....i can come outa dis alive,afterall... ;)

n well,NjoY LyF fellow bloggers....u only get ONE....

new post in d making....plz await refreshes 2 d page... ;)

ah...writin after ages it seems!!! :)

wat is it wit my frenz....it never stops,and i never stop writin bout it!!! :D

certain "close" frenz r movin away......as usual.... :O

and dat too unexpectedly.... :O

and some r jus movin outta d country!! #-o

n den der r d other "northern" connections....de keep givin me newer dreams,dese ppl!!

and my cell...:((

y did it hav 2 screw up immed...? :(

given it 4 servicin...hopefully shud get it bac in bout 15 days... :O :-(

and den,der r d angels.....d "U" one is d only permanent one,rite now....otherz r crazy... :P

and also,newer hopes,everyday....why cant i stop?

god help me.... :O

and some kiddos runnin around...primadonna,n JD...wat de r doin,is known only 2 dem...

n wat WAS dat recharge thing? did JD really think i was foolish enuf 2 becum a bakra? or was it jus a spur of d moment thing? wateva may it be,i am goin 2 surely recover dat money 4m him...if not,den his dad.. :P

but if d aezule duped me,i m sure i will get bac dat money one day....and he will pay 4 it someday...destiny wil take care o dat... ;) cuz actually,100 bucks makes me no diff,but if he thinks he got d better of me,he's in 4 an ass kickin... :P

newys,othe dan dat,Mumbai ROKS!! :D

and Oxygen,even more so.. :D

n wel,feels good rite now,2 b free of some mental bondings...i m no more too atached 2 certain engaging persons in life....many things contributed 2 it... ;)

and well,prep'in 4 exams.....tryin hard 2 get it... :D

till next time....

NjoY LyF !! :d

ever met an old friend,and not recognised them?

as in,not physically,but jus like u dont know who this person in front of you is... :o

and d marriage thing was NoT funny,Miss R.D.K... :o

and then there are these friends dat you "bump" into....jus make life so much better!!

i m very happy 2 meet you three ... :)

and o curs,some "facilitating" people never learn....

how can you "understand" physical violence..?
how can u stay wit a guy who calls you names,hits you,bangs ur head....etc..etc..?
and give him another chance......?

facility is officially crazy.

and then expecting another person to be with you,even after he tells you 2 leave him,n u dont...is another sign o craziness.. :o

i choose 2 ignore you now.

and miss R.D.K.....hmmmm.....

wat's wit d mind games..? cuz i am seriously NoT interested girl....get a life. ;)

n well,considering dat u wont read dis,m jus gona write,dat beware....i am gona play around in a similar manner too... :P

n well,when i needed some1 special 2 b with me,she's decided 2 take a small break wit me....cuda used bein wit you AJ....but well,not ur fault...situations r not in our control...n i MUST give you COmpleTe consideration,considering the recent past... :)

but jus feel....cuda used bein wit you rite now... :(

thankfully,these last two days have bin gr8 for me,wit ma newfound friends....true friends in d sense of the term....very rare species,i might say... :D

jus make you feel so good bout urself...play around wit you...luk at girls u like...even point out some 4 you...u also end up "helpin" them...jus cuz a gal fren wanted 2 c dis guy,i actually went,n made frenz wit him!! :D
never done dat b4....hehehe....
wel,it ws but natural to do dat,as a reciprocation for wat the 3 had bin doin 4 me... :D

and well,feels good 2 lose a bit o flab,n come bac 2 d old form...makes you feel so good,wen d galz giv ya dose looks... ;)

newys,life's a roller coaster rite now....

Njoy it as it comes, they say... :)

Njoy LyF PeoPLe... :)

wat is d meaning of life?

is it d few sweet moments spent with someone,which felt like a lifetime?

or is it d lifetime spent with someone,who you know,cannot be yours in this life?

or is it the times spent with true friends...peers...colony frenz...or jsu bout any damn fren,with whom u have a good time?

well,i gather it aint any of this.
for me,life is trying to find meaning out of the meaningless..

making people happy is what defines your existence...makin an optimist laugh,is no big deal...try 2 bring a smile on the pessimist...or the one who is not blessed with the ability to think happy thoughts...and yes,i mean it..not blessed with that ability..i know such people...and believe me...seeing a smile on their faces is much more gratifying... :)

so,is that all? making ppl smile..laugh...dat's easy...crack some jokes,u'd say...but dat aint d kind m talkin bout...it shoiuld be your acts,efforts..not your words dat bring d smile..try it once.. :)

and apart from that aspect...there are many things....

for starters,do your job with full faith and conviction....gives a gr8 sense of achievement...

and as someone told me,sometime bac...if you want to giv,giv whole-heartedly..or else,dont.

and what do we do about the people that are a bit "woo=ho" in d head?....leave em alone...de'll shout...scream...settle down,and come riht back to you. if they don't,don't worry...they must'v gotten something better,that they deserved.

old frenz....d relationships dat,as one o my frenz puts it,"slip" from our hands...d feeling dat u get when one such "slipped" relation comes back...is undescribable...n da's y i cald it a feeling..it's a mixture of happiness,with remorse for the past,alongwith a tinge of questionz surrounding the reason why it slipped...some you know...some you come to know over the course of time... :)
(Ref>Mr.Shah..if n wen u read dis,u'll kno..)

and then there are those friends in your own field...yet not in touch with you....u never miss them...neither do they...u just enjoy meeting them after many months...years even...and then updating each other on d misd period...wat happend in ur life in d period u dint meet....and it is at such times,that u shhould remember what u told dat friend....and how the things you missed out on,were unimportant to you....and remember not 2 think too much about them in the future,if they recur....

well,i m thinkin too much,n writin too much....time my head gets a li'l rest...




NjoY LYF!! :D

FeeL LiKe a FOOL.

NjoY LyF!! :D

as lyf goes on, u realise that along the way,u hav left many traces of your existence in the lives of others...and also your own...

traces...some you wish to proudly announce to the world as being your own...and some...u hide away from...

alng the way,u keep lifting some burdens too...and the more you lift,the more are the possibilities of your back becoming stronger...with each burden,increases your strength...and the ability to face heavier loads down the line.....

as they say,the man lifting the heavier cross,is the one who will ultimately be able to use it in his last moments, to cross over to the "other" side....

well,here's hoping my cross is the heaviest...cuz i aint afraid o d weight...jus worried whether my detesters will be able to protect their eyes from the brighness my fire will create.....:)

NjoY LyF!!!! :D