hill stations are hot.

as in, literally....temperature -wise....

last time i went to matheran, it was hot....this time shimla was hot...

i mean, why d hell does global warming follow me every time i wanna cool down!!! X-(

newys, at least d rooms were gr8...as usual...club-m hotels are a class apart....and so is the service...jus wish i had gone 2 this resort after it had settled for a year or so....too many amenities lacking... :(

rajdhani express while going was a gr8 experience....if u can ignore the sucky food...too cold air conditioning...and loud neighbours...

it was like, i challenge you to like this train ride. :-

the neighbours decided 2 argue on whether they should have brought two more bags for the shopping.....at 1 in the night...i threw some empty "campa-cola" bottles (jus like everything else, m sure this is a company that survives on indian railways supplier contracts) at them...but they were jumping around so much, that they skilfully ducked them...

the only relief (or compulsory entertainment) was an aunty from kanpur....continuos chabad-chabad....man! jus start one topic, and mrs kanpur express would start off...and not stop ever!!! i wondered how the husband is alive so long....he had, as can be surmised, lost ability to talk for more than 3 syllables at a time...

but then, there was a good side to it...got 2 know a different angle to a very old mythical lore...

everyone knows eklavya's story....well, d twist in that, is that he was asked to donate his right hand's thumb to Dronacharya...and he was a left handed guy...

so in effect, he continued his archery, and arjun also got confidence that he was now the best archer in the whole universe...

the lessons to be taken here are, that no true teacher will ever ask for the ultimate sacrifice from a disciple....

and secondly, we need to find out ways to concentrate on what we are supposed to do....arjun's job was to defeat d kauravas...and not to become the best archer ever to exist...

also, achievement and recognition are mutually exclusive...although eklavya was d best archer, he never got fame...and although arjun got fame as the best, he wasn't...

life is strange...

now meri hi case le lo...i think i am the most avid blogger....but my reader stats say otherwise....

hmm...maybe i am not meant to achieve fame, but just keep practicing my awesome powers of blogging.... :P

and then, there was delhi airport while coming back...

time of departure on booking ticket --> 8:20 p.m.

updation through sms from airline --> 8:50 p.m.

departure announcement at airport --> 9:20 p.m.

filling of passengers into aircraft like bhed-bakri's --> 9:50 p.m.

time spent on tarmac of runway, unable to get clearance for take-off, with very low air cooling, and occasional claustrophobic attacks --> 10:10 p.m to 11:10 p.m

actual departure -->11:20 p.m.

in effect, we reached pune at 1:30 a.m, instead of the originally scheduled 10:30 p.m...

thank god the two uncles who had volunteered to pick us up from the airport had brought some good movie to see in the car...else they would have surely cried out a blood abomination... :P

and then, imagine our plight...there were no conveyor belts to bring our bags to us...yes. Pune airport sucks big time. X-(

we had to manually pick our bags, and form a human chain to get them to their respective owners.. #@$@#$%$%$#!@$#!$@$# airport authorities.

and all the "guard" there was doing to help, was to shout at anyone seen outside the security cordon, trying to get his/her bag to safety... and what is it with these sucurity people, i fail to understand...when they cant handle the situation, they jus call a superior...and in all the 4-5 cases this has happened in front of me , by the time the "senior officer" arrives, everything has calmed down, and the civilians have managed to sort things out themselves.

if you ask me,the woman from the airline, who herself was taking out all the bags from the tractor-trolleys, was a more deserving candidate for the post of that superior officer...she was very polite, and doing work, as if it was her "gharcha saman"...

newys, after the ordeal we finally reached home-sweet-home...which was AT LEAST 15 degrees cooler than any place we went to on the trip...making me wonder, why we took all the pains of going for the trip in the first place...

truly feels good to be back...

NjoY LyF boggers...

:D

bored!

bored!

bored!!!!!!!

fuckin screw life..

don njoy life bloggers. :-|

maturity...

a virtue that has evaded me so far in my journey of life....and many ppl in my past and present will agree with it...

tizz not bout anything, but being yourself...taking the higher road....and being mature...

any definitions of the term welcome...

d thirst for achieving any kind of success, making other things secondary, is such a welcome one...one that is well cherished and enshrined in a peculiar and enchanting manner...

what is the manifestation of a multitude of crass attempts at pursuing an ever-eluding emolument...and also an unachievable plethora of images in the mind...minds of others of course...not ur own...cuz in ur own, u r damn mature...aint it? :P

what differentiates us from our primate ancestors...is this concept...

when will we have the maturity to understand...to not pollute...to stop fighting...to "grow-up"...to let go...to move on...to remain focused on what is right...or what seems right at the moment at least...to accept life as it comes, n not try to bend it according to ur whims and fancies...to live it as it comes...to be happy and content...to want more, but not yearn for it to the cost of any misadventurous acts...to let go of being dumped...to move on....to learn how to understand the one you are with...to grow as a human being...

maturity....

how it eludes me forever....

NjoY LyF! :D

innocence...

seeing a small kid run with joy on seeing his mother...or for that matter any one he recognises, brings the question to one's mind....where did all d innocence go away?

he sees only how that person behaves with him...and nothing else...and then, on seeing that person, is driven by a joy beyond explaination...maybe jus a neighbour who plays with him once in a while...or an uncle that brings chocolates to him each time on meeting him....such unmasked happiness....no hidden motives....jus purely, you-make-me-happy-i-will-smile-at-you-each-time-i-see-you...

wish all this didn't go away in our formative years...no biases creaping in....no pre-conceived notions...no "acting" happy...no "sucking-up"...no giving love out of fear...nothing to affect our opinion on the matter, but d simple actions of the person in front of us....

which also brought another question to mind....how do we remember how it feels to do something for the first time?

d first time u speak....d first time u hear...the first time you can make a complete sentence....the first time u talk.....the first time u run....the first time you make a friend....the first time u score a perfect 10...the first kiss....the first hug....the first fight...the first job...first day in college...your first bike....the first time a girl looked at you, and ur eyes met...the first time ur sister looked up at you with admiration, and you noticed...the first time you helped an elder with some seemingly mundane task, and were looked at with an unmatched feeling of gratitude...the first time you planted a sapling...

no matter how many times u repeat these actions...no matter how well you do them, nothing can compare to the magic of that first time....

makes me wish i could go back , and start doing all those things for the first time....and there are still those first times that keep coming....the first smell of water on soil...the first rains of a season....the first ice cream in summers....the first drive in the rains, letting small droplets accumulate on ur hand stretched outside the car...the first time u r completely drenched in the rains...hmmm...interesting how many of these things are related to the rainy season...maybe cuz right now, m longing for ANY respite from this killing heat!!!! :P

well, as abruptly as it started, another post comes to an end...

ciao bloggers....

NjoY LyF! :D

random blog entry number "n".... :P

badminton rocks!

playin wit a couple o frenz, i realised dat u play in a different manner with different ppl....wit someone u r tryin 2 impress, u play easy shots at them, and try 2 hit nice shots while playin against someone, while d one u r tryin 2 impress looks on....with someone u like, u play such shots as will keep d game running for a longer time....with an old friend, u play ur most competitive game...especially with a  best friend....damn competitive [darn my chappals....y dint i wear shoes wile playin against him! X-( ]....with someone u dont know, u try n figure out their playing styles, and match ur game accordingly...like if someone only wants to play longer, u play higher n slower shots....if someone like hitting only smashes, u give them plenty of chances, n try 2 avoid losing d point, by lifting d smashes...

sorta tells how u deal with life, doesn't it?

d one u r tryin 2 impress - gotta tell em, dat u r good, and can b rough n dirty...but wont b with them...

with the one u love / like - u play such a game that conveys dat u wanna play wit em for ur whole life....and never want d game 2 stop...

with the old friend - u r  - 1.tryin to prove u r better ; 2.takin out khunnas for their "keeda"s in d past; 3.are plain competitive...

with someone u dont know...u r jus tryin 2 hav a good game...so d best way to do dat will b to learn wat d person in front likes, n playin acc.to dat....n also improving ur skills by learning how to outdo dat dude/gal hittin crazy hard shots....this one dint have any life philo though... :P

apart from the usual banter....today is different in a way that, i dint feel like writing, but there were so many good things happening around that went un mentioned.......not that they wud b mentioned in a blog...still...

testing urself is a gr8 way to know whether or not u r well prepared...or whether u can improve on ur studies....jus good.....happy wit that decision....

ppl are all of a sudden "growing up" a bit too much....buyin vehicles...property....i mean, isnt it a bit too early?

maybe not....not in today's world....and i admire such ppl who can think ahead of themselves, and take proper decisions based on their stability and growth levels.....

it's not actually about age....it's just bout the stage in life u r at, that supports ur decision making....that makes u take different views at life.....maybe spending time alone in a totally new country helped someone....whereas working in a position that demands more out of their abilities improved someone.....while some get a headstart with no liabilities on their head, others are ridding themselves of d mis-deeds of someone that was in their life before, and jus bout gettin their heads out, to be able 2 look forward....

well, life is mysterious....and so are it's different facets.....how life is, differs from person to person.....and keeps on varying as u keep moving through it.....

is life very different today, than it would have been, say, 20 yrs before? definitely yes....it is....and it shall be so, 20 yrs henceforth.....

well, all mere mortals like me can do n say is... >>>>

NjoY LyF!! [while it lasts... :p ]

routine...

i hate routines...i hate doing the same thing, at d same time of day, more than 2 to 3 times...yet, when u r studying, dat is exactly wat u do...u wake up, study...eat, study...sleep, study...walk, study...work-out,study!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am bored of this all!!

give me a job! i wanna work...!!

i wanna meet people!

i wanna pull my colleagues' legs...i wanna make stupid comments on wat my friends say...i wanna make dat client pay more...i wanna finish work faster...more efficiently...i wanna interact wit clients..i wanna work in a place where i am allowed to decide my own deadlines...and where i get some..SOME discipline into my life...cuz right now, all it is, is a mess of deadlines...expectations.. dreams... hopes... aspirations...blah..blah..bleh!

i hate having to give up on opportunities to study further...i hate being stuck doin dis stupid course for wat seems to be my whole life....!!!!!

jus wanna get over wit it now....will work towards it...wil study for the sake of studying...and not for any other objective...not for getting my parents off my back...not for starting earning [which i already am, if my dad and his books of investments in my name are to be believed ;) ]...

have you ever studied for the sake of it?

studied for understanding d topic better....for knowing how some things are done...for viewing the system in a better manner...for getting to know d variables involved in all of the environments in which the subjects you study function...

that is the ideal manner of studying...

i wanna know each subject thoroughly...i wanna be able 2 write d exam in a manner that will make my neighbours in d exam hall go green in d face...i wanna ace it all...i wanna get a gr8 work profile...i wanna get dat MBA in dat perfect university that i keep thinking about...i wanna buy dat SLR camera dat i keep checking on d net, with my own money...i wanna buy dat city car that i have dreamt of forever..d mini cooper...i wanna buy dat ipod i dreamt of....

dreams....how they elude us.....as they keep growing...or changing form...as soon as we think we have got all we ever dreamt of, pop! comes out another craving...another temptation...and another milestone waiting to be achieved...

ah! but wat's lyf without em, eh? :D

NjoY LyF!

why do i blog?

well, for reasons best known to no one....i blog.

i used 2 think i liked to write...then i used 2 think i need an audience for my writings...then it came down to one simple conclusion - i need to blog.

hadnt come 2 realise this until recently...when my comp was taken away 4m me due to some technical problems...and i started becoming very fiddly....and impatient...i found that i need to type out on d blog...makes me feel good....and gives me satisfaction of having told someone wat is going on in my head....

although i have my own doubts as to how many ppl read it...stil...tiz like my online journal of feelings...

and in d process, i lay open many things about me....unknowingly...unwittingly...and unnecessarily...

which brings me 2 another discussion...why do i give unnecessary advice? i dont know...i really dont know...
but maybe i found the answer wile talkin to my mom...she does d same thing...keeps telling me bout stuf related to me, though she may not know the first thing bout it...and i guess i am jus carrying forward d legacy... :P

but well, jokes apart...one thing is for sure...i find happiness in my blog....

so, keep on writing......who's gonna stop you! ;)

NjoY LyF! :D

"beech ke din"

ok...sorta inspired 4m a friend's post bout 4 days...stil...

wat goes through ur mind, in the period when u have failed an exam and are preparing to give it again...is a turmoil..!

okay..so here's d deal..coming from experience earned, d hard way...so u work hard....but also want to freak out a bit, during the first attempt...so you take it a bit easy (which turns out to be a WRONG decision)..and freak out even during the papers themselves...as you have, for each day for a month or so before the exam....and two months before it...

then you fail....surprise? NAAH. you deserved to...you did not study enough. period.

okay. then what? start studying for the next attempt..
here's d catch...you've read everything before..and revised it...so at least two readings and one run-through of d syllabus is done...minimum...
and now, you have to read it one more time...ah! how interesting... :P


so you sit to study....and alongwith it comes d boredom...d irritation...and d constant badgering of ur failure by ur parents...tiz like giving them a license to kill, wit a vengeance!

to add to all of this, there's nothing good happening in ur life...
u r isolated...kept away from any kinda social bonding...and from freakin out even a little bit...thankfully, if u r able 2 convince urself, dat some recreation is okay, u feel good bout it...but stil...it hurts...


and d worst thing is, you got nothing to show for ur efforts...how do you show dat you have strived hard in this situation? how do you prove, that you really are capable? no ways...zilch. jus keep on struggling til you get it right. bloody keep on reading , and solving god damned problems. and have nothing to show for it, but ur parents "satisfaction" on seeing you slog.

and moreso, when people you know are already earning big bucks...i mean...why d fuck m i stuck in this stupid profession....cuda done BCom, and gone in for d rat race....got an MBA...and wuda bin earning them huge bucks right now...why all this trouble?!!!

interesting question...cuz my dad's a chartered. he wanted me to become one...and so did my mom....you should see d glitter in their eyes when they are dreaming of me becoming a chartered man....over hyped i tell you....damn bloody HYPER-HYPED. :-|

jus ask them to take a look around, and they wil see ppl struggling even after becoming qualified...and having to really slog it out...

but there are the success stories too...and those are really remarkable ones...and i guess the people are also that strong and powerful personas...for them to achieve that level of growth...and getting that position... :)

so, the impending question is...do i have it...? and i am waiting to answer that question for such a long time now, that it's simply not funny. i want to just stop giving exams, and start giving interviews...god damn it...bring on those difficult PI's...and take my test...i am bloody dying to get outa dis rut , and get on wit life...


and all of this confusion is leading to crankiness...idioticity...and simply stupid behaviour!

so, d solution being, to get on wit life....take some free time...freak out - within limits - and then keep trying to learn something new in the subjects than what you already know...

whew!

dat felt good! :D

NjoY LyF bloggers! :D

being who you are...

talking wit a friend...nikki...stumbled upon some self realisations...and realised yet again, dat d realisations are never gonna cease to spring up, while talkin wit puja...d new "important" things...or jus d factors that "matter"...at a given point of time....tends to change wit situations and over time...

like today, wat might mean d world to me, wil mean nothing tmrw...

day after i might find something far more appealing to d mind, dat i had failed even to consider as material...

thankfully, as i spoke wit nikki, i realised dis is not d case wit my relations...not when it comes 2 those close to heart....i don strive for something new in them...rather i build upon them , and try 2 take some thing new in my stride...as in, when i am wit someone...wit dat special one...or jus a special friend...tiz not like tiz something dat was a challenge to be achieved, n once achieved i lose interest in it, n start lookin for something new...it jus means dat i make "her" or d friend a part of my lyf...n want to take em along wit me on dis journey...make them a part of me...make myself a part of their travels...and keep on evolving...

realised some things...realised, dat i have kept my mind closed 2 many emotions and personal traits...wile talkin wit a friend, realised dat i was seein only one aspect of a relationship dat d person shared wit d spouse...cuz it happens, dat d person tends to tell you only d negatives in dat aspect...n takes d positives for granted...dat de exist..

but wat happens wit me, is i focus on d negative aspect, and begin to see dat person only in d light of d facts and circumstances revealed to me...and began thinkin of him as a negative kinda guy...but on a little prodding yesterday, d good side of him was revealed to me...dat he is damn patient...sensitive...caring and understanding....

need to keep an open mind...and not concentrate on wat d person in front says, more than wat cud probably be d actual scenario...try n find all sides of anything....like in many things...cant write it down well...but tiz something like....d person in front says something...and you make a strong impression in ur mind...based on d person's statements...and dat turns out to be otherwise, more often than not...cuz d person in front is jus tryin 2 impress his/her opinion on you...and u end up thinkin it to be d only one...whereas u need 2 actually explore all d posibilities...try to see everything from a neutral perspective...and most of all, believ in d goodness of people....cuz if u cant see dat, u r doomed to see only d negatives around you....and then, god bless... :P

but then, also realised, dat some relations are inexplicable...why we form a good friendship in very short spans of times....Aravind...met him for like, 3-4 times...and feel an inexplicable connection to him....maybe i have this thing bout south indians....jus find em damn endearing...der's also our very own AirWind...but then he's someone anybody wud like to be in the company of.... ;)

tiz funny how males bond...we dont need no emo stuf...don need common ground...we have a very limited threshold for bonding....sports...bikes...cars...and crazy stuff we have done...or claim to have done...(most o em make it up...for lack of "happening" stuf in deir lives, or merely to cope up wit peer pressure)

and dat makes our bond damn strong...we don need no emotional attachment...we are not difficult to understand for each other...we simply exist...and can jus hang around...talkin nothin...n jus be....

like mithila used 2 say...we guys can jus hang around, in a cafe...each lost in his phone or similar gadget...when someone comes, d conversation is like...hey man...whadup...followed by manly displays, like shaking hands so tight, dat i always feel either of us is gonna end up using iodex at night...or jus givin d occasional bear hug...and den, we sit...and jabber away at our gadgets..

which reminds me....saw d new Nokia 5800 express music....damn neat piece man....damn you puja...m jealous u own dat phone...cuz for d first time ever in my lyf, have i liked a nokia phone...n dat too so much..i mean..damn! de've taken out all d fallacies in other similar phones...and tiz available at such a low price tag too!!!

newys, bac 2 d topic...tiz not like we dont talk at all....der wil b d occasional..."didja know, X hooked up wit Y..? damn hot chick dat Y i tell you..." followed by a graphic description of specifics that attracted attention to d aforementioned...and then bac 2 d gadgets....

ah...how i miss doin that....but over time, i realised, dat i couldnt do dat for too long either...i needed 2 have some fodder for d mind...and dat is how i ended up penning..rather keyboarding thoughts, onto my plog...(comp log for the uninitiated..something akin to a web log..only this is on my home machine...)

which turned into this blog over time...

and i keep pondering...and writing...and askin ppl 2 read my blog...half of whom jus gimme>> "damn neat man...u got a good style o writin"

n den silence...no further action on it...

so have decided 2 make d blog a bit more "aesthetic" and akin to ppl's views...

but wil i want to be swarmed wit attention on my blog?

naah...

let's jus let things be as they are...

NjoY LyF bloggers!

cheers! :D

my poems...

talkin wit mom, i jus mentioned dat i write poems...

and she was surprised...at first she thought i was kidding...then she believed...when i showed her a few...d irony being, all were in english, my mom being a hardcore marathi person...had 2 sit explaining all o dem....musta read out like, 3-4....but m sure, seein d glint in her eye, she liked wat she heard....and was happy...even though d poems were far from optmistic...all expressions of negativity, written in my lowest lows...but stil she appreciated them...

and then dad came...and his first question on learning dat i write poems? when did u get d time 2 write?
ha! :P


but i guess that's how some people are...

they are too focussed and set on their goals and aims in life, to even think bout anything else...or see anything...let alone doing something different...my dad is one of them....admitted workaholic...and cant stay at home even on sundays....cuz d office, is his lyf...his "baby" as we call it...and he cant stay away from it for too long...and it is not without awe, dat i look at how much he has earned....from scratch....totally admirable....i guess this very dedication is the reason he is so successfull....and yet, he has much more potential...i jus hope i am able 2 rid him of his minor fallacies, and see him grow even more....achieve his true potential...

newys, back 2 d poems...

so, i jus read a few of my writings...and this came out...


wat is lyf?
is it bout toiling in d harsh sun...
or bout finding in the smallest pleasures, wat's all d fun...?
wil i be working on weekdays, and taking d weekends off..?
or wil i find something to do that i wanna do even on bein d aim of peerly scoff?
wil i become a workaholic like him?
or be a master of my own will....live life on a whim?
wat i do know though...is a simple virtue...
i want to do much more...than a single profession to satisfy me...
i want to explore life's options....
and shed all my inhibitions...

i want to grow like the ashoka tree...
a wisened spirit, burdened wit years of wisdom...yet the conscience so free..

why is change so necessary?
why cant i keep concentrating on one thing at a time?
today i wanna hear d flute...tomorrow a wind chime...

today i wanna be a dj...spin d tracks around...
tomorrow a Chartered...d whole world with whose knowledge revers him..stays dumbfound...
and yet, day after...i wanna own a hotel...make food...have a lively atmosphere....be in d holiday mood, 24/7....have my own small corner...in the eye of the world...cynosure of many....envy of more...and have my own dream....no longer a sophomore....




hehehe...ok...dat was toooooooooooo random a post...

NjoY LyF!