HrshhD

WHY...?


no reasons....no explanations....

no words left.........................................................................

lost in a tranquil of worry....guilt....care...truthfulness...(supposed)...and a calm...that is unnerving....

it is funny how, what seemed like a big sadness till some time ago, seems to fade out in a snap of the fingers, when all that you live for is challenged.....and not without reason too.....

decisions............
u make some wrong ones....and then live with them.....but now the question is, will this one cost more than anything else....?

here's a hypothecation..

there were two best friends....A and B....always used 2 tell each other the truth....
then one day, A was offered a bribe.....both being morally inclined,he told it to B, stating that he took an advance of some of it...to check B's reactions....
B, thinking that A is changing, doesnt say anything on it, thinking it is his personal matter.....although they have always talked about not to take any bribes,and not sellin their souls....
but what goes on in A's mind is, that B too wants him 2 take the bribe.....so he just tells B that he took the remaining bribe too...
that is when all hell breaks loose...and B cant take it...and decides to break his friendship...cuz he cant stay with a liar........A somehow convinces him to stay......but things are not the same anymore.....
and A, keeps trying to get the guts to tell what actually happened...but somehow cant.....
one day,after they have sort of pushed all of this under the carpet, A musters the courage, and tells all to B...that he never took the bribe....not even the advance......none.

now imagine B's dilemma....
was A lying the first time...? is he lying just now...? why did he have to lie to me the other way around....? and his biggest conviction - he cant stand liars................................................................................................

A was never justified in anything....but sometimes,we do things to please others.....to be ranked higher in a peer group....or just do crazy stuff....

but what we dont think,is the consequences they will bring.........

well, A will surely live with the guilt.....for life.......and never be able 2 look B in the eye.......ever.......all he can do now, is try n regain B's trust....the long and tedious process....the time required for,and efforts,are as subjective as is the definition of life, given by different people....or that of faith...belief....and our existence itself.....

decisions....mistakes....questions....no answers....

cant ask 2 enjoy life today...............cuz don know if m ever gona b able to now......................dont think i will.....
Sorry AJ.