HrshhD

Girl Problems? No Problem!! :D

After AGES of analysis, and neck_breaking research, here are a few, small pointers on how to behave around girls / the girl(s) u r trying to impress....(p.s.: yes, i know u r hitting on multiple girls at the same time :P )

1. You are always wrong. if you make a mistake, obviously you say sorry. if She makes a mistake, she is "already feeling bad about it"...and anything u say to instigate her, will lead to you saying sorry.

2. she is "just perfect". the answer for "am i fat?"

      
      this is a phenomenon which almost never has the right answer...more of an impromptu solution required here..ya know,..that question in the exam, for which no matter how much u have prepared, you will need to think really hard and out of the world(not simply out of the box) to get it right....? yeah. that one.

     


however, here are a few options you could use - 

a) of course not baby! what made you think of it? [result - bug hug]

b) ummm...i dunno....why..? [result - kick in d sack...and possible break-up]

c) weren't you always this fat? [result - rampage. u r dead.]

d) yeah...maybe a little [result - girl problem solved. she will leave you.]
e] yeah you ugly, fat b****...go make me a sandwich! [result - instant death, shotgun headshot. pwnd]

3. how to make the girl laugh - 

    wow...this one's a toughie....calls for an independent analysis...

    Your Joke works - 

     a) unless your joke is not degrading or sexist.

         a)i) If you're not sure, it probably is.

     b) your jokes are funny only the first time.

     c) it might be funny when you used the chopsticks to make a walrus face on your 
         first date. now it's just embarassing.

     Also, don't make jokes about her, OR her friends OR her parents OR her neighbour OR her neighbour's stupid lookin Alsatian dog OR her clothes OR her choice in colors OR her xyz...you get the drift. ;)

4. how to treat them right....

    now, this is one hell-of-an issue....haven't yet got it right...just trying my best here...

    a) pay attention to her....i mean really...don't just nod your head and think about today's football/cricket match

       a)i) if you did not pay attention, she is bound to ask you what you feel about what 
             she said half an hour ago...(and never will ask if you WERE paying attention)

         ii) if this happens, just say this - i agree with your point of view....after all, you 
            ARE Perfect! (follow up with a nice smile, and hug / kiss depending on 
            whether she lets you touch her..)

    b) be nice. but please, for the love of god, don't smother.

        b)i) God help you if you team up with your friends to make fun of her. 
              no seriously. better, make it a self-shotgun-headshot. less painful..

    c) take interest in things she likes.

        c)i) this means you have to go shopping.

          ii) and enjoy it. no moping!

well, that's as far as our research at team aquaguy has gone....will update you as and when we come up with solutions / studies on more issues related to the female species.

now that that's out of the way, let me take my gf for a spin! :D

oh stop giving me looks you idiots! i m not a fool to go around with a girl....got a different gf...refer previous post :D

NjoY LyF bloggers! :D