i'm an average guy!

he doesn't go to extremes..

he's not the man of your dreams...



not saying that cuz he's self-deprecating..

just the truth it is, that i am repeating...



but let me tell you something about averages..

they stay with you longer than boys on stages...



the average guy won't have a million fans..

but he sure knows how to hold you..how to dance...



no, he isn't something from your dreams..something fantastic..

but he will be there when you're not well..or simply feel sick...



don't underestimate the average guy, for you never know..

he can make you happy with his average arrow..his average bow...



he won't get jealous..he won't make you so..

he has other average things that make him go...



the average guy..he's a useful chap..

not too strong, not too weak, but just makes the gap...



he is the one you want, if you want stability..

happiness, that is average..average his ability...



no one takes pride in being the average guy today..

so just wrote something, to spread what he'd to say..! :)

An Urban Guy's Letter

So, i read this blog post and started thinking...

This mentality that she was writing about, is seen everywhere in India..it is a real nuisance, and i don't disagree with the thoughts.

But....

I don't know why those men, who are not a part of that "flock", are never mentioned!

There ARE men who are chivalrous. There ARE men who respect women. There ARE men, who don't start staring at girls in mini skirts/shorts/whatever it is you think attracts those kind of "looks".

Don't get me wrong, i have nothing against whatever you girls want to wear..or don't...for one, i roam around in shorts in the whole city (not that i am a pretty sight :P ).




Then comes the point of "judging" women by their beauty.
Welcome to the dating scene. I have been told on my face, by girls, that i am not good looking enough.

Forget being judged, can u imagine someone doing that to your face? Only if you've gone through it, will you understand what it feels like.

So did i feel objectified? Depressed? Angry?

No, i took it as immaturity on the girls' part, and let it be.



Now you'll go ahead and say - "it isn't just the dating scene, we girls are judged everywhere"...I don't think this isn't true for men too...it's just that it isn't as obvious as is with girls. And dare i say, girls are better at not being overt about it.




And well, aren't you the ones that get help the most too?!!

If a girl is involved in an accident, a huge crowd gathers to help them. I fell from my bike once, and you know how many people came to help me, in a crowded square? None.

Again, i am not gonna make the mistake of generalizing things, but all i want to say is, you get many benefits too! Take the yin with the yang!




Then comes the "respect for feelings".

I would say it is safe to say, that it goes both ways.
We are portrayed as these emotion-less, hunks of meat, who simply don't have any feelings whatsoever...

When we break-up with someone, we just move on to the next "target". We don't even care to turn back, and take a second look..we use girls like sexual objects...and the list goes on.

So again, am i like, some sort of anomaly?

Cuz when i broke up, i was sad. Depressed. I kept trying to find what went wrong. Not for days or weeks, but months!

We DO have feelings...we DO care...we DO change for you!




We might not be scared to get out of our houses, but some of us do have parents who get worried if we get late.

Our parents don't like it  that we're dating someone or "getting some"...cuz after all, aren't our parents too, a part of this image-management system put up by "society"..?




Yes, there were times when we were considered the "Superior" sex..or the more powerful one, or whatever the crap it is that "society" believes in.


But in the end, it is the media (and to some extent, girls themselves, when they talk about it with a "feminist" bias) that is putting all of this in our brains...has been, for a long time...and will continue to do so...and you know why? Extremes matter..and rake in eyeballs.



Do you think a normal, peaceful shop-owner in Iraq would've made headlines? No, instead, this girl did. Because extremes "touch" the target audience..!

Emotion sells.




To conclude, i am not saying that what you wrote was entirely wrong...or that such men don't exist at all...all i want to say is, we are doing something wrong, if we portray only one part of the reality.

And that it is not the Whole Truth.



I'm just sitting here, hoping that we will really get an "equal and just" society. Someday.



-An Average Urban Guy.

Just Breathe

i recently did an "Art of Living" course..after my parents did it and suggested me to do it too..

now, before you go all ballistic on me, and criticize me for being a herd-sheep, let me tell you, it was a very VERY nice experience...

it taught me some really nice things, and made me aware of myself...

and we were lucky to have attended the course conducted by a very able teacher, Mr.Hassan Tafti.

he is beyond doubt, a marvelous presenter and speaker...


and yesterday, a friend of mine came to me asking for advice on how to handle her inner self, and get this "chaos" sorted that resides in her...


so, SK came to me, and it came naturally to me, to tell her what to do, and how to do it...




for starters, the first step to changing yourself, is accepting that you need to change...accepting your own flaws, and identifying them...having a clear picture of what all it is, about yourself, that you feel needs to go...


for starters, the basic things taught in the AOL course, were -

1.accept people as they are.

2.Stop expecting.

3.Stop comparing.


now, accepting people might seem like an easy enough thing to do...but believe me, it is NOT.

and why isn't it easy?
one word - ego.


our ego comes in the way of our interactions, with people around us. our ego stops us from accepting people for what they are, as they are, unconditionally.

you try to change people. you try to make them think the way you do. you try to make them see your point of view...at times obsessively so....

but once you start accepting, then there is little scope for friction...there is very less about others that can affect you. there is little that can make you sad..or happy...


now you will think, why shouldn't i get happy if others make me so?

simple...because you become dependent on others' appreciation/approval....you become a "football" of people's opinions...and i don't think i need to elaborate why that is not recommended if you want your inner happiness and calm...





the second bit...

stop expecting.

the only person that you can expect from, is yourself. not your friends, not your peers, not even your family.

how this helps - you get one bit closer to not being a football...

it might seem odd, that you're becoming a football due to expectations, but give it a thought for a minute...

what happens when you expect?
either your expectations are met, or they aren't.

in the first scenario, you are happy because expectations were met, and indirectly, your happiness is with someone else...

in the second, it's pretty simple to see....your sadness lies in someone else's failure....

and isn't that stupid? like...if your son fails in an exam, you get sad...on some level, it might be acceptable to you to let this affect you...but isn't it wrong to let his sadness affect you? are you helping him in some way by doing that? is he going to suddenly clear the exam because you are sad? i think we know that answer. :)




thirdly, stop comparing.


let's begin with the definition of comparison, per se...


comparison is your ego trying to make someone/something look good, or bad....in other words, someone/something is either superior or inferior...

how does this affect you?

for starters, you compare everything/everyone with yourself...or your possessions...which should be immaterial to you...but you let it become a factor affecting you...


so how do we stop comparing?

simple - repeat the first step. acceptance. :)

if you accept people/things for what they are, as they are, the question of comparison doesn't arise in the first place!

your ego won't even know what hit it, and will be immaterial again! :)


now, don't get me wrong on the ego bit....ego, on the level of self-awareness, is a good thing. only when you let ego compare, does it become a problem...



these points sort of summarize the whole course...but summaries are not always good....i would suggest all of you to attend the course....experience it for yourself...and don't forget to thank me later... ;)






on another related point, i realised when SK asked me for advice, that one listens to advice only when one actively seeks it himself/herself....she said after our conversation, that her mom has been telling her the same things since a long time...but she never listened to it...or maybe she just couldn't accept those things...


i didn't say anything very different from what her mom used to say...or didn't give any "jaga-vegla gyaan", as we would say in marathi...


the only difference was, that she sought answers, when she spoke to me, and i happened to have the right ones....



try and seek answers....then you will crave problems, in order to test your ability to solve them... ;)



also, when faced with a problem, don't ask "why"...why me....why now....why not someone else...........but ask..."what can i do now"....

give this last one some thought....and let me know how you feel... :)

of morning walks and falls

it's been three months now, that i have started my morning walk routine....but the last 2 weeks have been somewhat "accidental".. :O

so, i started going on looonnnggg walks in the morning, since i am a morning person, and had become as fat as an American..

ok, not so much...but maybe...ok ok fine! more than this! :/

and i love going on walks alone...me, the music, and open roads....

but last week, a dog decided to block my path on the one-off occasion that i decided to get into a jog.  :|

i resembled Mr.Humpty the Dumpty, and had a nice big fall. :/

sprained my wrist, and hurt my palm....
oh! someone! give me Amrutanjan Balm!

aaaannnyyywaaayyyy.... this resulted in me not being able to type/write/eat with my right hand for 3 days :(

and today again! i had a big fall...this time, however, there was a twist to it...

i was walking along...minding my own business...climbing down the "hanuman tekdi"...when i saw a group of girls climbing up the hill...it was raining before, so the hill stones were a bit slippery...i was being extra careful and watching my step...

when this group of girls came near me, i stepped aside, to let them pass...but being teens, they were busy jumping and hopping around..

and the inevitable happened >>

and this one girl, fell ON ME. :/

now, normally i would take a girl falling for/on/around me / in love with me / falling over me...etc...as a good thing...

(what? it DOES happen ok! girls DO fall FOR me....ok a few have...ok FINE 1 girl fell for me....ok FINE FINE FINE! fell for my online avatar which is a beefy hunk 6 ft tall and highly charismatic etc)

but this time, she fell on me, and i fell down on my tush. my sweet soft tush! :(

aaannnnddd i feared the worst...

you see, teens have a thing against me...it's a plot really...believe me i know you guys do it on purpose!

what plot you ask? 

they call me UNCLE. X(

i mean seriously! i have a mustache and the occasional beard is also kept...but by no angle do i look like anyone's UNCLE. :|

So i closed my eyes, and waited for the worse to come..

i feared those words...

i anticipated another moment of agony...

i could already hear it in my head...

shortly i couldn't take it any longer and opened my ears to hear what i did not want to hear...

What would she call me? she would definitely call me Uncle. or Bhaiyya at best. god dammit why was i not careful...why did i not move farther from that group of girls...

as all these questions ran in my mind...

i heard the sweetest voice say...

"dude! i am so sorry! are you ok? sorry man!"

DUDE!

MAN!

i am no longer an uncle! :D

girls actually think i am a "dude"!!

i suddenly felt handsome! i felt hot! i felt attractive! i felt...i felt...i felt...ecstatic! :D

of course , the happiness was short-lived, when she called her girl-friends "dude" too. :|

so apparently everyone is a dude. :/

everyone is a camel penis. :/

(check out webster's definition of "dude")

but at least for now, i shall assume that she called me dude for the sheer dude-ness dripping off of me...

for the rugged handsomeness that embodies my persona...

the inexplicable attraction she felt towards me...

etc...etc...

enough self-bloating eh? :D :P

and now here i am, nursing a smarting tush...that refuses to join the rest of my body in celebration of dude-ness... :/

until next time...

ciao bloggerz! :D

The Traveler

Well, i have been travelling through time a LOT.

yeah, not the literal time travel...just in my head...and not just into the past...but into the future too...

and they both have a similarity...

both provide you different versions of events, if you change one small, but significant variable...and most of the times it is the timing of those events itself... :)

some past events have taught me something...and a few have been wasted...a few i shall cherish forever..and a few i have already begun to wipe...

the versions of tomorrow, though , are what i have been visiting oft repeatedly...

and you know what? surprise! surprise! i hate uncertainty :-/

who doesn't?

ok, there might be a few of you who will go, NO! i love spontaneity! i love being in the moment! i don't want to know for certain what i am gonna do tomorrow!

i am not talking about tmrw, literally, you dumbass! i am talking about the nearby..and not so nearby, future...

like the kind of lifestyle...the kind of life...and the kind of mannerisms i want...

for one thing, i am CRAVING for simplicity...somewhat akin to an obsession... I mean, i have HAD IT with complicated life...i do NOT want to be doing one hundred million things at a time! (in this context, anything more than 3 = one hundred million)

and even those 3 things that i AM doing, need not be done simultaneously...it should flow independent of each other, and not interweaving...that simply makes life worth horse shit. after he has cannibalized. Yes. :|

i don't want a bazillion friends...i don't want to go to a party every weekend...i want to enjoy life...one moment at a time...

yeah, so basically, i wanna plan what i am gonna do tmrw, so i can live in today.

seems legit! :P

but yeah, enough of the rambling :P

toodle-do :P