Hum Tum...Ek Kamre Me..............

Baahar se koi andar na aa sake Andar se koi baahar na jaa sake Socho kabhi aisa ho to kya ho...Tihar Jail Me.... Socho kabhi aisa ho to kya ho... ;) Tere nainon ki bhoolbhulaiya mein....Akshay Kumar Mil Jaaye..... :P Hum tum ek kamre mein band ho, aur Internet Down Ho Jaaye!!! *Oh Noes!!!* :S Aage ho ghanghor andhera... FB profile me Dikhe na Mera Chehra.... :( Twitter pe jaana ho mushkil... Orkut pe Jaaneka kare Dil...!!! Socho kabhi Aisa ho to kya Ho... Socho kabhi Aisa ho to kya Ho... Hum tum kahin ko jaa rahe ho... Google Maps band ho jaaye...!!! :S *oh..we're f^^ked now bro!* Hum tum kahin ko jaa rahe ho, aur 3G Band ho jaaye.... Teri baiyaan ke jhoole mein saiyaan, 3G hotspot waste ho jae!!!! Basti se door, parbat ke peechhe Masti mein choor ghane pedon ke neeche Andekhi anjaani si tablet ho Bas ek hum ho, duja hi-speed network ho...!!! Socho kabhi aisa ho to kya ho... Socho kabhi aisa ho to kya ho... Hum tum ek jungle se guzre, aur sher aa jaaye... Sher se main kahoon tumko chhod de agar... To use dikhaunga Jungle Book, YouTube par... :D Kya hoga kal kisko khabar hai Aaj chalu....na Jaane kal kaunsa Mall Down Under Hai.... Socho kabhi aisa ho to kya ho... Socho kabhi aisa ho to kya ho... Hum tum server room mein band ho, aur Admin chhuti pe chala jaaye.... Tere network ke bhoolbhulaiya mein... 1 GBPS connection Mil jaaye... Socho kabhi aisa ho to kya ho... Socho kabhi aisa ho to kya ho... __________________________________________________________ (Statutory Warning - trying to track down the poet and / or his computer in order to destroy it, will prove to be a waste of time...i have an android phone...and a netbook....and 15 desktops in office. You CanNot Stop Me....BuhahahahaHAHAHhahaha :P )  _________________________________________________________ P.S. : - the Links ARE funny and interesting...one or two are ads or informative...but others are strictly for leisure viewing! Dare You see them outside ur office! :P NjoY LyF bloggers :D

bitchy beach!!

there!

now that i have a serious post out of my way....here comes another one of those "were-you-even-thinking-while-writing-this-poem" poems :P

mwahahahahaha :P


____________________________________________________________________________



sometimes i think...life is a bitch...
and that is when i pack my bags...and head for the beach...



the ups and downs make for a miserable life...
and i need to keep reminding myself....i can't stab people with a knife!! :P



when i feel like killing someone....or stabbing them to death for a lesson i want to teach...
that's when i pack my bags....and head for the beach...



what do u do in goa all the time my mom asked...
well i think the secrets are better left masked... ;)

i love to drive to goa...
on reaching i feel i have built the Arc of Noah..!!



i couldn't find another word rhyming with Goa...
so here it is all over again...Noah Noah Noah! :P



how could i have missed it! it was all i did in Goa..
the beaches...the babes...and all surroundings made me go....WHOA! :P



that's why every time i think life is a bitch....
i pack my bags...and head for the beach!!! :D

no rhyme...no poetic sense....nothing whatsoever!

sheeh...i suck at poetry! :P


mwahahahahahah :P

NjoY LyF bloggerzzz :D

Here i Am

Here i AM...this is Me...

you wont get a better bargain in the Flea...

Here i am...it's just me and You...

Just shoot me now..or i'll throw my shoe..!!

It's a new World...it's a New Start..

wait m not so sure...but did u just Fart..??!!!

It's a new Day...it's a New Plan...

I wanna drive my neighbor's Maruti Van..!! :P

HeRe i aM....

Here we are...we've Just begun...

u better walk away....or later you'll have to Run...

Ya here we are...still goin strong...

i think i like Bryan Adam's Song... :D

Here i am ... next to you...

Don't you wish i wasn't ur brain goin thru...?? :P

Here i am...where m gonna stay...

This is the song on my mind....since morning today!!! :D

P.S. : Don't try to kill me....many more ppl wanna do the same right now :P and if you DO wanna do it...chalo bhai...line me lag jao...chalo... :P

why do you want to have kids?

yes, after questioning marriage, i am back with questioning the need to have kids.... :P

ok , before u jump to conclusions, like a "friend" of mine did....i have NOT married!!....yet... :P

so the other day, i was having a discussion as to why does anyone want to have kids?

reasons to NOT have 'em - 

1. Noisy ;

2.Smelly ;

3. Tendency to poop at random places ;

4. Repetition of what you say, as soon as they start talking.....yes, i say some fucked up weird shit ya know?

get me? :P

5. will make ur house / rooms that they have access to, as can be seen in d pic above ^^

6. u need to spend a LOT on them....dude....new clothes....new crib....new cycle....new @#$@$%!$#@%

'nuf said!

7. end of ur and ur spouse's romantic life....or...ummm...ur "life partner"s....i wanna be in d good books of people with all kinds of sexual preferences ya know? :P

8. (damn this list is long) they wanna take over ur t.v remote / bike / car / (worst case, like in mine...i.e., d reverse ...i.e where i am d kid...sheeh) ur business!!!

so, yeah....i think i made my point....

when i got a piercing pain in my right ear..!!

yep. mom and dad. wrenching my ear like it's a bottle of "goti soda" and their hands are the openers...

ummm...what's goti soda? hit d link above ^^

looks something like this >>

(don't you get really irritated when i go totally off-point and put some weird and random pics in my posts? :P)

AND here we are with the reasons to have em....

of course, with d BLUE text showing my counter-arguments... :P

1. you are furthering your lineage

(ummm...as aptly pointed out in my previous post i think my cousins are doing a pretty good job of it....i got at least 2 dozen nieces and nephews....and more coming, as i hear...lineage continuation established...ftw!!)

2. you need support in your old age

(i shall buy a friggin walking stick! as i can see myself, and my generation....we SOMEHOW manage to take care of ourselves {with a few exceptions} ...let alone taking care of you....{as mom keeps saying to me}...and hell no, i don't wanna depend on a kid to take care of me in my old age.....i shall take care of my own self....and my spouse, IF i end up making d mistake called marriage....else i can live on some bread...and mayo....and some chips....and maybe a burger once a week....shit! i gotta start saving money!! O.o )

3. you are furthering your gene pool by reproducing

(now, to this one i say - T-Rex Shit! {yeah...bull didn't seem to cut it enuf} damn d gene pool....i ain't gonna go through hell for furthering something that i don't care at all about!!)

4. we wanna see our grandchildren's faces!!

(refer previous post again... :P you can see the faces of d kids of my cousins and get over it...they're technically your grandchildren only....and please....you will see more than their faces if i bring them into this world....poo...pee...random mud etc shit brought from playing ground revelries...blood....broken bones...bricks...mortar....  ok..ok..that went a bit too far...but you get d point....)

that takes care of 'em....

and then i hit upon a brilliant post on the subject by a blogger i simply adore!!! :D

i think you should read it, in order to understand what i mean to say, and am clearly failing to do :P

for now, reproduction is a BIG no-no.....and i shall carry condoms with me all d time....

cuz i get laid every night...right? :P

NjoY LyF bloggers!! :D

random poem time!!! :D

it's been a while since i have been euphoric...

such moments i wish to capture in my mind's click...

life had been going on somber...boring and routine...

the first click happened when she offered me...her hand so pristine...

and there i was on cloud 9...wondering if it's a dream...

the second click happened when we kissed....with mad vigour...i wished to scream...!!

but then life's been an upward journey...

*touchwood*....why is my tummy today so churny...??

the blocks start to fall in place...

i know i have said the same line many times to your face...

but this time it has gone beyond the first steps two...

somehow it fells real...i know it's so true...!!

the problems suddenly seem to dither away...

there's nothing that'll make me from my focus sway...

oh let the madness go on...life...her...and me...

touchwood just doesn't seem enough...let me go hug a pine tree...!!!

;)

yes, i am still talking about my GF....d Ritz :D [link to previous post here]

OMG!

i wish i had her!

i mean...the modified version of d car...

quit drooling over ur keyboard looking at the hot chick...

err...ok ok...it was me who did that.... *blush*

but i wiped d keyboard and kept it in d sun to dry for half hour, ok?

found some pieces of pizza...noodles...and bread sticks in it....in time too...i was hungry!!

:P

NjoY LyF BloggerS!!! :D

~~ time travel ~~

i am fascinated by the fascination we humans have for time travel....

ok, before any of you jump to the conclusion i fear you are going to jump to, this post is NOT inspired by "acction repplay"...but by "Hot Tub Time Machine"...

so, as you should have read the reviews in d links above.....d bollywood take on time travel pretty much sucks...and hollywood wins hands down with it's take on an ever-intriguing concept....

so...that just got my thought wheels churning....

so....WHY are we SO intrigued by time travel?
take a look at a few genuine  attempts at making a time machine...and of course, the eventual failure at d same..

and then there are those who cant stop thinking about possibilities for their uses...

and this was just a slow lift.....caught by someone like me, with a good sense of humor... ;)

what? i DO have a good sense of humor ok? :P


so....i fail to understand the need to travel back in time!!

ok...ok...there were times when i wished i could go back and change ONE small thing....ok...maybe two....ummm...now that i think of it....3....no wait...4....5.....6....ahh...d list can go on.... ;)


but, i dont see why one would want to go back in time....future is justified....so u can make profits....ummm...actually,,,,even past can yield profits....

ANYWAY....the point being....

that time travel, as interesting as it might seem, except for some really tragic / life changing stuff, is pretty useless....to travel just for making money, i.e.


cant we dream about our needs....aspirations....hopes....and make them true now?

let's just start dreaming real hard....and working on those even harder...!!

cuz...as far as i know...i aint a scientist to build a time machine....and none that i know have built one...and even if they do, human tendency to be selfish comes in the way of time travel....

so...let's live today....not in yesterday...not for tomorrow....but IN today....FOR today..!!!


p.s. - pls share with me if u make a time machine... ;)


ah....yess....another pointless blog....

Mission FUCKIN' Accomplished! :P


NjoY LyF Bloggerzzzzzzzz :D

Andro-Magic :D

what can your phone do?

make calls? send texts...?

ok ok.. browse d internet!!!

wow! :P

google , through android has undertaken a task to change just that.

so now you can...

browse d internet..

chat...

see videos...

locate your car without searching for it...

connect the phone to ur car audio..of curs..

play loadsa games...

make skype calls...

find resto's...

check movie timings...

access google-sky...a map of d stars :P

play musical instruments...

edit videos...

find itself, if u send it a specific text...i.e..start ringin like crazy for u to see where it is :P

and...

and...

and...

CONTROL UR DESKTOP COMP THRU WI-Fi.

Sweet! :D

iphone....these ones actually work!! and we can make calls too!! :p

NjoY LyF BloggerS!! :D

Girl Problems? No Problem!! :D

After AGES of analysis, and neck_breaking research, here are a few, small pointers on how to behave around girls / the girl(s) u r trying to impress....(p.s.: yes, i know u r hitting on multiple girls at the same time :P )

1. You are always wrong. if you make a mistake, obviously you say sorry. if She makes a mistake, she is "already feeling bad about it"...and anything u say to instigate her, will lead to you saying sorry.

2. she is "just perfect". the answer for "am i fat?"

      
      this is a phenomenon which almost never has the right answer...more of an impromptu solution required here..ya know,..that question in the exam, for which no matter how much u have prepared, you will need to think really hard and out of the world(not simply out of the box) to get it right....? yeah. that one.

     


however, here are a few options you could use - 

a) of course not baby! what made you think of it? [result - bug hug]

b) ummm...i dunno....why..? [result - kick in d sack...and possible break-up]

c) weren't you always this fat? [result - rampage. u r dead.]

d) yeah...maybe a little [result - girl problem solved. she will leave you.]
e] yeah you ugly, fat b****...go make me a sandwich! [result - instant death, shotgun headshot. pwnd]

3. how to make the girl laugh - 

    wow...this one's a toughie....calls for an independent analysis...

    Your Joke works - 

     a) unless your joke is not degrading or sexist.

         a)i) If you're not sure, it probably is.

     b) your jokes are funny only the first time.

     c) it might be funny when you used the chopsticks to make a walrus face on your 
         first date. now it's just embarassing.

     Also, don't make jokes about her, OR her friends OR her parents OR her neighbour OR her neighbour's stupid lookin Alsatian dog OR her clothes OR her choice in colors OR her xyz...you get the drift. ;)

4. how to treat them right....

    now, this is one hell-of-an issue....haven't yet got it right...just trying my best here...

    a) pay attention to her....i mean really...don't just nod your head and think about today's football/cricket match

       a)i) if you did not pay attention, she is bound to ask you what you feel about what 
             she said half an hour ago...(and never will ask if you WERE paying attention)

         ii) if this happens, just say this - i agree with your point of view....after all, you 
            ARE Perfect! (follow up with a nice smile, and hug / kiss depending on 
            whether she lets you touch her..)

    b) be nice. but please, for the love of god, don't smother.

        b)i) God help you if you team up with your friends to make fun of her. 
              no seriously. better, make it a self-shotgun-headshot. less painful..

    c) take interest in things she likes.

        c)i) this means you have to go shopping.

          ii) and enjoy it. no moping!

well, that's as far as our research at team aquaguy has gone....will update you as and when we come up with solutions / studies on more issues related to the female species.

now that that's out of the way, let me take my gf for a spin! :D

oh stop giving me looks you idiots! i m not a fool to go around with a girl....got a different gf...refer previous post :D

NjoY LyF bloggers! :D

da new gf ;)

well,finally got hitched...

we are very much in love...

she loves my touch...i love her response to my commands...

she has a mind of her own...i have my ways of controlling her...

she likes to run all along d winding roads...and I love to take her on those twists!! ;)

yes,u guessed it right....got my own car :D

pics follow.... ;)

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Bart Quotes :D






-i am not my long lost twin...

-i am not the last Don...

-'Bagman' is not a career choice... :'(...

-a burp is not an answer...

-No one cares what the definition of "is" is.... :O

-It's potato...not potatoe... :O

-Thanks to television, i cant remember what happened 8 minutes ago! :D

-Fridays are not "pants optional" :-|

-i will not say "She's dead" during roll call! :D

-i do not have diplomatic immunity... :'(

-Internet! Is that thing still around? B-)






;) ;)