HrshhD

"beech ke din"

ok...sorta inspired 4m a friend's post bout 4 days...stil...

wat goes through ur mind, in the period when u have failed an exam and are preparing to give it again...is a turmoil..!

okay..so here's d deal..coming from experience earned, d hard way...so u work hard....but also want to freak out a bit, during the first attempt...so you take it a bit easy (which turns out to be a WRONG decision)..and freak out even during the papers themselves...as you have, for each day for a month or so before the exam....and two months before it...

then you fail....surprise? NAAH. you deserved to...you did not study enough. period.

okay. then what? start studying for the next attempt..
here's d catch...you've read everything before..and revised it...so at least two readings and one run-through of d syllabus is done...minimum...
and now, you have to read it one more time...ah! how interesting... :P


so you sit to study....and alongwith it comes d boredom...d irritation...and d constant badgering of ur failure by ur parents...tiz like giving them a license to kill, wit a vengeance!

to add to all of this, there's nothing good happening in ur life...
u r isolated...kept away from any kinda social bonding...and from freakin out even a little bit...thankfully, if u r able 2 convince urself, dat some recreation is okay, u feel good bout it...but stil...it hurts...


and d worst thing is, you got nothing to show for ur efforts...how do you show dat you have strived hard in this situation? how do you prove, that you really are capable? no ways...zilch. jus keep on struggling til you get it right. bloody keep on reading , and solving god damned problems. and have nothing to show for it, but ur parents "satisfaction" on seeing you slog.

and moreso, when people you know are already earning big bucks...i mean...why d fuck m i stuck in this stupid profession....cuda done BCom, and gone in for d rat race....got an MBA...and wuda bin earning them huge bucks right now...why all this trouble?!!!

interesting question...cuz my dad's a chartered. he wanted me to become one...and so did my mom....you should see d glitter in their eyes when they are dreaming of me becoming a chartered man....over hyped i tell you....damn bloody HYPER-HYPED. :-|

jus ask them to take a look around, and they wil see ppl struggling even after becoming qualified...and having to really slog it out...

but there are the success stories too...and those are really remarkable ones...and i guess the people are also that strong and powerful personas...for them to achieve that level of growth...and getting that position... :)

so, the impending question is...do i have it...? and i am waiting to answer that question for such a long time now, that it's simply not funny. i want to just stop giving exams, and start giving interviews...god damn it...bring on those difficult PI's...and take my test...i am bloody dying to get outa dis rut , and get on wit life...


and all of this confusion is leading to crankiness...idioticity...and simply stupid behaviour!

so, d solution being, to get on wit life....take some free time...freak out - within limits - and then keep trying to learn something new in the subjects than what you already know...

whew!

dat felt good! :D

NjoY LyF bloggers! :D