Best of THE Big Fat Panda.....

i Fall a million times...
and i don't know intelligent sounding rhymes...!

i am affected by failure, it makes my heart cry...
and i really like Goodluck's chicken fry...!

i fell short on luck they say...
god! did i finish yesterday's assignment essay??!!

my heart is set on clearing the hurdle...
did any of you solve today's sudoku riddle??!!

i will put all my heart into it, i promise...
oh i wish Katrina gave me a nice kiss...!

i'm wasting time reading this stupid poem , you must be thinking...
according to statistics, every  3 minutes, a ship is sinking...!

i won't let failure make me accept defeat...
Benetton shirts are smart and look really neat...!

thus, i have started a trend of bizarre poems...
and just so you know, my favorite chocolate is Cadbury Gems..!



(technically, now Kraft Gems)


(p.s.: the links are actually interesting / funny / intelligent ones....check them out!)

NjoY LyF bloggers!! :D

new look for the blog!!

omg!! *drool*

not HER new look you idiot!

concentrate!!


we're talkin bout the blog here!! :P

although it NEVER hurts to drool @ Deepika *ogle* *blush*

so, yeah...alongwith the new look, i am back with the reactions tab >>

so, yeah....no "tickmarks" will be taken as an offence! :P

comments on how the new look feels etc....welcome! :D

NjoY LyF!! :D

chat friends

yes, i am talking bout those friends you make in chat rooms...

my choice of messenger is the Yahoo! Messenger...

and my favorite room? Marathi 1 :D

it's a haven for people outside India, or for that matter Maharashtra, to converse in Marathi with fellow marathi people...

BUT...

i have come across the maximum number of perverts in these rooms itself....sort of its bane..?

as also, i have come to witness the most number of "balatkar"s of the english language in it....not that i didn't enjoy them....but....i'm jus sayin'.... ;)

and we, i.e. me and my friends, tend to press the "ignore" button asap on these despo's and / or losers....but then, what use would it be, if i don't discuss their categorization with my followers? :D

so, here they are...i have tried to catalog a majority of these "namune"s....but i know there are many more out there...so comments increasing my knowledge about them are welcome....

1. the typical "will you frandship me" (WYFM)
     - this moron will try to talk to every girl-id (yes, i m saying ID, cuz there are impersonators, refer category no.3) and will typically start the conversation with "hi...how are you"....trying to appear courteous at first glance...but believe me, it's all downhill after that!

2. the gay
   - typical opening line >> "29/5.11/32w/69kgs/fair/cln shvn/smart/educated...M2M anyone?"
      i think this category is self-explanatory....

3. the guy with a misleading id,who is actually a despo, n will talk dirty with a guy as a gal, and gal as a guy :-|
   - yes, they exist. and they are the real reason behind u being ignored, when u go to an American  room, say  the Chicago room, seeking to find an interesting conversation, and they ask you....where are you from? | ur reply >> India | immediate response >> f**k off you pervert!
(normally found in Mumbai :1 room. NOW you know why i never go there)

4. the really chipku one
  - this guy is plain bored, n will talk to anyone...don't respond for two minutes, n ur window will be filled with his msgs!! also, they tend to buzz (refer category no.6) and are also the WYFM type. :-|
   if you say, you're going, they will add you...decline the add request, and they will send really sad smilies like >> ":(" "=((" ":(("  (ymsgr users know wat those are)

5.the advertiser, pervert, and basically creepiest type of user
  - this one has one of many opening lines...
    a. "matured male here..any (location) female intrested in scerat s*x relation n friendship i will give u pocket money pm me"
   b. M2M C2C @ Andheri East & South Mumbai with place. Decent , smart & educated 5ft.9in. 68 kgs, fair, light brown hair & eyes. If interested, pls. reply with yr age, stats. location, likes, real photos or face-cam2cam [invite & get invited]?

and you thought matrimonials were interesting , huh? :P

normally these lie in the ignore bins of all my friends....die you lousy piece of chihuahua poop's stinky little molecule's fart!

6. the buzzer
  - these are plain annoying. they will "buzz" you after and before every dialogue...i mean...wtf!! :O



ah...i think i can go on for hours doing this...but you get the idea...


just so you know, it isn't such a bad place, if u know how to maneuver well around the lanes in which the really fun chat rooms lie...Marathi chatrooms...Pune chatrooms...

of course, i have made a lot of friends there...

there's Melo...Savya...Teju...GigaByte2AMD...Arch...Rassu...and many more....

yes, these are their pet names....

and no, i wont give out their id's to you perverts! :O

i hope none are reading my blog though :O :-SS


hehehe...well, i guess i should go back now...Rassu needs my help with some assignment :P

NjoY LyF bloggers!

Giving the Blog a Meaning...a Purpose....


well, i was pondering for a LONG time, as to what my next post should be about....

and finally decided to make it one giving my blog a definitive direction.

the blog shall be headed towards humor as a theme to it.

although there WILL be posts about me cribbing and ranting on about mundane and irritating stuff that affects me (or the people that do so, most likely)...but the central theme will be the ultimate medicine - laughter. :D

so, here's to new beginnings!!

and with that in mind, i bring to you a handful of really funny articles i found while surfing the net...

plus, i am also going to promote some sites....which is so unlike me.... ;)

but these are really good sites, and deserve to be spread around .... to spread the laughter!!!

1. The Vigil Idiot

2. XKCD a web-based-comic-strip

well, i am in the process of making a mockery of my current state of insanity and idioticity...

new post coming up soon!!! :D

NjoY LyF! :D

back seat drivers....


how many times have you been driving your car with friends / family, and there happens to be a BSD ( Back-Seat-Driver ) amongst the passengers?

doesn't it get on your nerves??

i was really fidgety about it, till i saw this >>

the poor guy....even magic carpets come with a BSD nowadays :O

but my parents are a wierd (and most probably it's a common phenomenon) kind of BSD. they BSD my LiFe. :O

take today for example, we were tying the "गुढी" in our verandah...and i had chosen not to tie the saree etc , and to let dad do the honours...but my well-thought strategy also failed!! mom thought he doesnt do it well, and that i am just shying away from responsibility!! :O

u try to be good, and avoid fights...THIS is what you get....more fights! :P

and i won't even go into how they try to manipulate and steer my life in the direction THEY feel right :-|


i wish i could do something about it....

or someday i hope to wear this t-shirt, and mean it... >>

:D


and i am yet to bring the ultimate BSD into my life.....the WiFe...!! :O

my grandpa though, found out a unique solution to all of it...

after all, experience counts!! :D :P

and for all of you, who are feeling really bad and pissed bout the BSD problem, here's one group of BSDs, i LOVED to have in my car!! :D

you losers! you ain't getting them! keep on dreaming!!! :P

so i guess we gotta grin n bear it.....till we can take our revenge, and become BSDs ourselves!! :D

then it's payback time!!! :D


* sigh *

till then....


NjoY LyF!!! :D

unintentionally funny....

 (i mean..really??)

recently i saw some rather funny signs / people / websites....where actually, they were not intended to be so....

( caution - this writer has sharp wit)

 (specially notice no.5)

THAT explains what my friend's roomie used to do for 2 hrs in the loo..gee...i sure hope he didn't put the fishing rod-hook in there, AFTER he was done with his business... :-| * puke *

(he WAS sorry...c'mon!)

 (we DO care about the animals' DIET)

 [this one's going into my hotel, if n when i buy one, for sure... ;)]

and now, we move on to the U-F-Website of the century. :D

well, since the last restraining order by my ex, i have become a bit wary of legal action against me, be it for personal, or blog-content reasons...

so i won't quote the name of this site...let's just call it "hp.com"

but OMG!!

this site is fodder for jokes, for at least 3 hours...and that is a pessimistic estimate...

some "exclusive" quotes from the site....

H stated that it was GP's Improvisations, choreographic work which enables him to see the two genres, K and C, generating new information through one single body.

i mean...through one single body??

i thought "seeing" in this context would be through the mind....or the "single body" would be of dance....but no. generating new information through one single body. :-|

The Centre is running in full swings giving access to its students to perform, nurture and mould their creative minds.

i am sure the students are "moulding their creative minds" (?? wtf ??)...on the "full swings"...

pity them though...i m sure none of them had imagined classes in swings...i guess they are just trying to bring in some kind of novelty here...i mean....dance classes in studios? ah...that is SO passe.... :P

crap. and i thought going outta d country, would improve one's english...!! :(

We at the centre, belief everyone moves in some way or the other, to get over stress, fit and connected to our bodies

sure...sure...

and WE "belief" that India will be the top contributor to the movement for screwing up English by 2010-end...oh wait...this site has already arrived there!

i mean, that sentence DOES NOT make sense. neither does the syntax help.

is it just me, or does the sentence have severe voyeuristic undertones??? :O

Its not about what your body is outside its what we can do with it!

ok. this one is purely suggestive. :-|

WHAT DO you wanna do with my body??? :O

these are a few select of the sentences on the site...i can't cite others, as they will lead to compromising the identity of the website owners etc...

but after reading this much, i had to stop. severe stomach ache due to continuous laughter for 2 hrs.

MS and me had a GR8888 time dissecting this one...sentence by sentence.... :P

NjoY LyF bloggers!! :D

why do you go to gym?

well, i go for the.. >>

hey!!

wat d hell!!

i meant, i go to look like this.... >>

ok..ok..

i DO look like this in my dreams.... * tee hee * :D

but seriously...a few chicks in my gym come with the sole intention of show-off...

and then there are some others like >>

my friend UK, n i have christened them, yes, you guessed it >> fashion show. :-|

i mean...ftw!!

come in sweats...do ur stuff, n get out....

why d broohaha over all the make-up...the flashy clothes....etc..etc....???

i mean, i go in simple clothing....sample this >>

errr.....ftw is wrong with the pics uploading software!!! :O

chalo, upload wat i REALLY wear to gym everyday....

ok...now this is just gettin ridiculous!! :O

i said i want pics of me at the GYM...not Toby's All-You-Can-Eat!! :(

whew!! here it is... :D

aint d quadruple chin cute?? * blush *

anyway, my point being....

Ms. Fashion Show, pls quit wearin designer clothing to places where u sweat like a pig (well, a baby pig, considering ur size) ... find some other place to show-off and pick up guys for god's sake!! :P

and while dealing with all this, came a double whammy for me...

my ex decided to take revenge on me... :(

sent me a legal notice.... :((

i mean....wat d eff???? :O :(

her sunday morning jogs are so NOT going to be fun for me anymore.... :(


ah..but that's life....which keeps going on... ;)

NjoY LyF bloggers! :D